


Diaphanous Perception

by cge0361



Series: Ocimene [6]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Delusions, F/M, Hypnotism, Interspecies Romance, Pokephilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2012-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6399898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cge0361/pseuds/cge0361
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maggie thought the one thing keeping Manny from loving her the way she loves him was her body, a mienshao's body. She wished he saw her as a human, and two of her friends helped grant that wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Implausible Proposition, As Told By Maggie

 

* * *

  
Diaphanous Perception, Chapter 1: An Implausible Proposition, As Told By Maggie.  
  


* * *

  
I guess the worst part of being eliminated is obvious: it hurts like hell.  
  
It's not like I didn't see it coming; I'm not completely blind. But, seeing it coming doesn't change the facts of the matter.  
  
A referee stood above me and told me what the judges decided. My score was too low to qualify for the next round of the event. I gathered myself up and stumbled out of the circle. Life orbs really take it out of you, but if you're a regenerator mienshao, that's usually what you're going to bring with you. If you have teammates, that is, who can give you the essential moment you need to catch your breath and recover. My trainer had not gone shopping for anything more appropriate for me to use when fighting alone, yet. I didn't stumble toward my trainer once I got off the floor, though. Manny got it in his head that he was bad luck and never watched me fight. Apparently it goes back to when he was a kid on his first summer journeying; if he can't leave completely he'll at least turn his back.  
  
At the rim stood the victors, Anton and Franz. This competition was supposed to be size-two teams, but Manny released his other pokemon a few days ago. It was his starter, a serperior. They got along okay, but Manny lost his old job to cut-backs and he couldn't afford to feed us both on part-time. Between us living off of the battery inside our balls or someone striking out alone, the choice was easy. Caleb loved the wilderness and hated being cooped up inside, even if Carthamus Township was the pastoral village that Fenchone Plantation used to be before it built-up. I think he went north to Nybomy, but that's his story to tell.  
  
Anton stands about a head taller than I do unless I straighten my legs up. That's not counting his mane which adds an extra half. He looks a lot less imposing with his hair down though, like I saw one time after he got hosed, literally, by a cocky vaporeon. As I approached, their trainer, Sheila, was walking away to wait for the next set of pairings to be posted on the big board, and Franz was walking the dog behind her. Franz usually carries a yo-yo instead of the large washers or holed pendants that a hypno typically prefers. I guess he's easily bored, but also easily amused. I tried to avoid him when I could because he communicates with telepathy; as a fighting type, everything he transmits to me is at least three decibels louder than he probably realizes.  
  
I like talking with Anton, though. He and I, and Franz, are called “mute” by our trainers. Whoever coined that term either found humor in irony or was taking out his frustration that he couldn't understand us. Anyway, with there typically being at least one “talker” in any group, it's nice to be around our own kind, so to speak. I can't explain it, but when you get that T.M. that lets you speak to them burned inside your head, it changes you a little. Maybe more than a little.  
  
Anton was deliberately ignoring me as I came to stand beside him. He does that when he hits me harder than he needs to. It embarrasses him to lay-out an acquaintance with a pure type disadvantage in front of many familiar faces in the crowd. But, after the time he pulled his punch, let me break his illusion and know for certain that he wasn't his fighting-resistant partner, and pay him back for countless times before, he would rather blush beneath his fur and ignore me in an unapologetic way than risk looking like a chump again. When he does this, I poke him in the ribs until he breaks form.  
  
“Okay, quit doing that.”  
  
Poke.  
  
He bristled and faced me. “Hey, I mean stop!”  
  
“Make me stop.” Poke.  
  
“I already won our match. Lose respectably.”  
  
“Don't you mean, respectfully?”  
  
“No.” He glanced away, but the ice was broken.  
  
The zoroark and I chatted about a lot of nothing for a few minutes. I forget the details. Mostly we shared tidbits about how our trainers had been treating us and how often we got to go on the road, which was rarely if ever. For many pokemon, that's part of your trainer growing up; either you get traded down to siblings or cousins and have to decide if they're worth obeying, or you get turned loose, or you wind up as a pet of some sort. I'm comfortable enough with the domestic lifestyle, but that's partly because mine is among the species who are at least somewhat human-shaped and compatible with their devices. My paws are articulate enough to be useful around a house. Caleb barely had flippers and it was driving him mad.  
  
What I do remember is what happened next. Manny finally showed up. I noticed him out of the corner of my good eye as he approached from my bad eye's side. He thought I couldn't see him check his speed and try to spy on us for a moment before interrupting. When he did, he asked if I wanted to talk a little longer. I didn't want to make Manny stand around, but before I could shake my head no, Anton softly barked a noise to me that sounded like “lee stah,” an approximated “please stay” from Manny's language spoken for Manny's benefit.  
  
Manny patted me on my upper back just forcefully enough to make me take a small step forward, toward Anton. “You two share some secrets, I'll be back in five minutes.”  
  
Anton watched Manny walk around the gym toward the big board and say something to Sheila. Without turning to face me, he blurted out, “They want us to become mates.”  
  
My eyes opened wide at that.  
  
“I've heard mine talking about it with yours on the telephone, and I think Franz is in on it, too. It's hard to keep a secret from him overnight even if she didn't tell him directly. Well, want to do it for them?”  
  
My reaction wasn't very tactful, and it struck a lot harder than it should have, since I had not found a moment to discretely remove the life orb. My shoulders sank after I realized that I had fake-out slapped him for insolence.  
  
He glared at me, looking truly hurt. “What did you think I meant? To couple right here in front of the village people?”  
  
I felt silly, letting my whiskers droop. “No. No, but I don't want you to be my mate.”  
  
Anton became angry, furious. “You're not my first choice, either. You're half blind, you stink like nasty chemicals that humans think smell like fruit because you use their fancy shampoos, and you're not a very good fighter. Do you think I want to make mienfoos with lame stats?”  
  
His words were hurtful. His always were when he got upset. This time, because maybe he knew, maybe because he didn't. He would not tell me unless I laid it out first, though.  
  
“Anton, I didn't hit you because I wouldn't have you. You are a fine choice and any female would be a fool to turn you down. I know you want to make your trainer happy, and right now, she sees how you get around the females you like and realizes your mind and your body are both aching for a companion. It's not that I don't want to mate with you. I've, I can't believe I'm saying this, I've thought about it a few times. Okay, a lot of times. But, as much as I want to mate with you, I don't want you to be my mate.”  
  
“I know,” he grumbled at me.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You want him.”  
  
His gaze swung from my face to that of my trainer in the distance. He knew. I felt very embarrassed; very small. I felt guilty. I felt like a traitor. In that instant I wished I'd shouted my consent when he asked. Even if he had meant what my dirty mind thought of when he asked, I would drop to my paws and offer myself to him right then and there if that would somehow be the cost of getting a second chance to say yes to his offer to be my mate and not admit in not so many words that all those times when I was alone and tried to pleasure myself to an imagined vision of Anton, I could never get over the edge unless I thought of Manny instead.  
  
I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I was turned and made to walk away. Anton was guiding me away, which was good since the next round's combatants were filtering toward the circles.  
  
He sat me down at a table near the most-distant circle, which would not be used during the final rounds, and took my paw with his own, seated at my left. “He isn't the kind of trainer who would accept your love physically, is he?”  
  
I spoke more of a squeal than a word, although to humans only the tone's meaning would be noticed. “No. He thinks it's perverse. Even when the pokemon can talk and they're both clearly happy together, he still believes that a human being attracted to something so different is a sign of a mental problem or something.”  
  
“I'm sorry he feels that way. If you know this, though, why are you holding out? Why would you—”  
  
“Why would I turn you down when I know he will never look upon me with the kind of love I have for him, when I know that you've been trying to make it look like you haven't wanted me since the first time I beat you up; when I know that we would make a happy couple together?”  
  
Anton only nodded, twice, sharply, and subtly. He also sniffled.  
  
“Because Anton, I have a little flame of hope burning inside me, and until I can put it out it will never stop nagging at me. That, if I can just find some way to get him to see me for who I am, and who we could be together, that he would want to be part of Us. So many times, he's given his heart to women and they've stomped on it, and he's always come back to me for support. Dammit, I don't want to be his comforter anymore! He uses me for my compassion when he's hurting but when I want him, it's always master/pokemon. It's not fair! I accept him. Why won't he accept me?”  
  
I began to sob a little. Anton tried to put his arms around me, but I slipped beneath and away.  
  
“No. Thank you, but, I'm not going to use you for comfort, too. I love—like—no, yes, I love you too much to make you feel what it's like to hold close someone who won't love you back because of some some stupid little hang-up.”  
  
Anton rested his arms on his legs and leaned forward, which was not much of a deviation from his usual pose. “Do you really believe that?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“That, if he could see you for who you are instead of what you are, that he would want to become part of You, together?”  
  
I rolled my eyes; sorta. “It's impossible.”  
  
“Do you really believe that?”  
  
Anton had never spoken to me with so serious a tone.  
  
“No. But if I had the opportunity, I would try anyway.”  
  
Anton rose, brushed my eyes clear of welled moisture, and walked me back to an area near the lobby where we found our trainers waiting with concerned expressions.  
  


* * *

  
A couple weeks passed after that day at the gym before anything came of it. I had almost completely forgotten, distracted by my chores and my hobbies.  
  
Manny unlocked the front door and entered. “Mail call! That includes you, Maggie!”  
  
There is a division of direct-mail marketers who specialize in targeting domestic pokemon, but they only care about talkers and pokemon who have been given agency over a portion of their trainers' League accounts' funds. I don't say their words and I don't spend their money, so what would be coming for me?  
  
Like many domestics who have need for pockets, I carry a small bag that rests beneath my arm with a strap over my shoulder. It contained a thin stack of index cards with pictures, icons, and meaningful shapes on them. Some pokemon that are allowed to refuse, or on the contrary are denied, S.T.M. treatment learn crude sign languages. Neither Manny nor I found learning to sign within our abilities. I flashed two cards meaning, “Mine, what?”  
  
“Yeah, it has Anton's name and Shelia's return address on it, addressed to you. Maybe he wants to make peace after whatever happened between you two at the gym last time.”  
  
I took the letter and turned away.  
  
“Hey, do pokemon write?” he asked.  
  
I shuffled through my cards. This would need five. “No T.M., therefore, talk only.”  
  
Manny nodded and sifted through the rest of his mail while our flatmate stumbled out of his bedroom. Paul worked nights, sometimes long ones. We suspected he might be a vampire. He would creep through his door, staying in shadow, take his mail, and return to his coffin until sundown. Maybe he slept in a proper bed, but we never had the guts to ask or peek inside. All that mattered to us was that he paid at least two-thirds of the rent in exchange for never being bothered when he had the do-not-disturb tag on his door. Except for the mail, of course. Sometimes he received something “urgent,” and would slip a reply envelope beneath his door about an hour later. The extra portion of the rent that Paul paid also bought him Manny's service delivering said letters to the mail office before the day's afternoon collection.  
  
Inside the envelope I found a blank sheet of paper folded around a small electronic storage chip. I sneaked into Manny's room and borrowed his music player. There was no music on the chip, though. Instead it was a recording of Anton's voice.  
  
“I have discussed your situation with Franz. He believes he can give you a chance to try anyway, if you truly want to. It will require significant use of hypnosis on both you and your trainer. If you really want to do this, you must run away from home, compelling him to look for you, and when he does, Franz and I will take care of him for you. As I said, Franz must hypnotize you too. It will be a lengthy process, so we must do this when no one will notice Manny's absence. Overnight, before a day he does not work would be best.”  
  
He caught me when I re-entered his room, replacing the music player.  
  
“Was it music?”  
  
I shuffled through my cards. “No sound.”  
  
“Oh? He must've made a mistake. Do you want to go tell him? Fenchone's not that far away and Paul slipped a couple letters through the gap so at least one of us has to get out of the house in the next twenty minutes.”  
  
I held up two more. “Different, day.”  
  
“Keep giving him the silent treatment and you'll hurt his feelings, but that's between you and him. I'll be back in a little while.”  
  
Manny reached out with his left hand and stroked me along the right side of my neck, from my ear to my shoulder. A caring caress was nice, but I wanted a hug, or even a kiss. A dull one would be enough.  
  


* * *

  
That night, I barged into his bedroom. As long as the T.V. was on, it was okay. I tossed a cushion on the bed near his feet and hopped up. For a short time when we were both smaller, I was allowed to sleep at the foot of his bed, on a folded up sheet in a spare pillow case. When we got bigger and the bed didn't, I was sent to sleep on the couch, and there I was to stay. Caleb kept bedroom privileges, stretched around the bed's legs like a living moat, until shortly after Manny moved out on his own; until he tried making a go of having a live-in girlfriend. Caleb saw himself as Manny's protector, for obvious reasons, and dismissed from that duty, he stopped feeling like he had a purpose in the home.  
  
Every few days I'd try to find a way to get T.V. time to turn into a ticket for me to get back in there. If I fall asleep first, I wake up later having been replaced on the couch. If I try to stay up, eventually he sends me away. No later than when certain special programming comes on the premium channels. My ears and nose both work better than his do; it's silly for him to fib to my face that he's going to go to sleep now, sending me back to the living room sofa. I write it off as humanity's affinity for boasting pridefully about counterfeit achievements.  
  
I heard the door's lock click behind me as I slowly trotted down the hallway. That weekend, whatever it was that Franz and Anton figured out, I was ready to try it.  
  


* * *

  
Manny barely dodged the plate that I threw at him, and some of the macaroni made contact across his chin. I wanted to stop and apologize for almost hurting him, but it was critical that I stay in character. I knew that all he heard from my mouth was structured static, but it felt good to tell him everything I told Anton, and more, and I needed to seem as angry as possible to make running away seem plausible. When he started to ask me why I was yelling at him since he knows that I know that he does not understand the sounds of my voice, I saw in his eyes something I had not seen in years, not since he was much younger.  
  
He was an adolescent then and I was still considered a new acquisition, but we bonded immediately and I worked hard to evolve during the winter, and failing that during the spring, so I would be ready to make a good showing during our first complete summer together. He met a girl during that school year, and while I was sneaking off into the woods to fight with wilds and ferals hoping to return full-sized, he was sneaking off down the road a few blocks to spend time with her.  
  
One day it happened, and when I recovered my senses after my transformation, I ran home as fast as I could. On all fours, even, to get there just a little bit faster. I came home to a wreck that didn't even recognize me at first sight. Manny acted like it was a home invasion when I rushed toward him, only realizing it was me when I started hugging him instead of slugging him. He tried to be happy for me, and we did have a little celebration with ice cream and stuff, but he was barely holding together through the evening, and fell apart that night.  
  
She was the first to break his heart, and I was the first to put it back together again. He looked at me with those eyes and asked me if I would ever make him feel bad like she had. I denied with a confused tone, because I could not even imagine doing anything to him that would make him so sad. In that instant I knew I loved him. I wrapped my arms and their dangling lengths of pelt around him tight and pulled him close. I licked his neck. I kissed his cheek. I kissed his lips. He kissed them back. His bedroom door was open at the time.  
  
Nothing strange seemed to happen until I was recalled at bed-time. That confused me, but I thought maybe his parents were a little wary of what I had become. The adorable teddy-bear 'foo they knew was now a lean mean exotic known to replace lucarios on some league teams. When I was released next I doubled-over with stasis sickness. Three weeks had passed.  
  


* * *

  
I groped at the table for something else to throw, but I would not risk another close call when all that was left in reach were forks and knives. I couldn't look into Manny's eyes anymore; I was hurting him in the way I promised never to. I ran into his bedroom, slammed the door, ditched my purse, and exited through the window before he could catch up and follow me inside. I glanced back to see him sticking his head through the window I left open behind me and calling out my full name. I dropped low and I ran faster, north to Fenchone.  
  
It really wasn't too far, or it was but I was keeping in good enough shape that I was merely exhausted instead of dead-tired when I got to Shelia's home near the southern outskirts of Fenchone Plantation. Anton met me outside and told me that Manny called earlier, expecting that I might go there for refuge. Obvious, but according to plan. Intercepted, Anton led me to an old storage shed nearby. Franz was there, ready to begin my hypnosis, while Anton disguised himself as myself, preparing to lure Manny when he arrived in town.  
  
Franz explained why I needed to be mesmerized as he indicated where I was to sit. “For your master to see you as something other than you are is trivial, but you must never allow him to lose faith in his perception. For example, the illusion would become inconsistent if you spoke our words or used our abilities.” He laid me back against a sack of mulch, and let dangle his yo-yo. It had a iridescent holographic pattern that was quite hypnotic in its own right. “I will alter your mind so you will not consider your powers casually. Also, your tongue will flap to make sounds that are of humanity, but it will form bogus words with the texture of a foreign language that he does not understand, so that you know not their grammar or syntax will not expose you. You are adept to communicating with him despite words, so trust in that, but be careful not to do so with familiarity, or he may grow too suspicious.”  
  
He had more to say, but I don't consciously remember anything after that until I awoke from the hypnosis. Manny was then beside me, also in a deep trance. Anton told me he used my appearance to lure him into a place with no witnesses, then took the appearance of a biker thug and clobbered him unconscious. He instructed me to leave the shed, but to stay nearby so I could “help” Manny when he awoke from his trance shortly after sunrise. He also warned me to always stand up straight to look the right height, and to be careful, as to anyone but Manny, I was still a mienshao.  
  
Franz and Anton left Manny where Anton struck him, took his money from his wallet both as a service fee and to ensure the mugging seemed legitimate, and went home to get a little sleep before the new day began. I would do without. I had to be there the moment he awoke, since his first vision of me, a human me, shaking him sensible was already implanted and had to be fulfilled for this scheme to work.  
  


* * *

 


	2. Bringing Home A Stray, As Told By Manny

 

* * *

  
Diaphanous Perception, Chapter 2: Bringing Home A Stray, As Told By Manny.  
  


* * *

  
I guess the worst part of being mugged is obvious: it hurts like hell.  
  
I groaned and slowly raised my hand to my forehead. Touching it brought a dull pain. I think that biker headbutted me.  
  
An almost angelic voice came from somewhere nearby.  
  
“Von da-le tchika?”  
  
I wondered if it might really be an angel; I felt like that asshole could have hit me hard enough to knock my soul free. Soon the voice was above me, and I felt someone pressing on my chest. I opened my eyes.  
  
“Von da-le tchika?”  
  
I'd never seen a face like hers. I could tell immediately that it was exotic. It was similar only to a few immigrants' I had seen in the more culturally diverse places further east, like Linalool or Tartaroyal, except her nose was somewhat different. She sounded like those people, too; how they speak to each other behind closed doors.  
  
“A-le da-le tatska?”  
  
I tried to get up. That brought the rising sun over the roof of a house across the street, momentarily blinding me. I raised a hand to block it, and she took that as an invitation to lift me up.  
  
“A-le da-le tatsko!”  
  
For a little thing, she sure was strong, yanking me up and getting me on my feet before I realized I'd left the ground. I thanked her and started checking my inventory. No missing parts, no open wounds, keys still in my pocket, but wallet was A.W.O.L. I started looking around for it.  
  
“Lape da-le hiloka?”  
  
“What? Oh, some guy beat the hell out of me and took my wallet. Sometimes they grab the cash and toss the—”  
  
“Dolo da-le itago zolo?”  
  
She started molesting me somewhat, so I backed up a bit. “—the rest. Hey! Look, uh. Thank you for helping me up, but I've really got to T.C.B., you know?” I looked around some more and caught a glimpse of my wallet beneath some nearby bushes. Thankfully, I was right: only the cash was gone. He didn't even take the plastic, so I could hit a machine and at least buy breakfast. “Okay, thank you again, miss, foreign-lady. Uh, see you around, I guess.”  
  
“Von-o-kono a-le ies!”  
  


* * *

  
I found my way to Shelia's house, but neither she nor her pokemon had seen Maggie. I headed into town, withdrew some money, and went to a place I like for breakfast. When I got there, I met the strange woman again. She sat alone at the outdoor seating, looking rather bored. She didn't have anything to eat or drink on her table.  
  
Glancing my way and making eye contact, I felt like I had to say something. “Are you waiting for somebody?”  
  
She nodded yes. When I touched the restaurant's side entry door, she spoke up.  
  
“Faxe ako movi ies t'sok.”  
  
“You can't speak my language, can you?” I asked.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
“But you do understand what I'm saying?”  
  
She nodded gently and held her hands flat and near together, I guessed that gesture meant “a little,” though she never seemed confused. I sat at her table, and she smiled gently.  
  
“Okay, I'll admit I'm intrigued. You're someplace where you can't talk to anyone—”  
  
“Von ase tutako.”  
  
“—in anything we can understand. You don't seem to be a tourist, and there certainly isn't anything to tour around here. You're waiting for someone—”  
  
“Von lega mabaj.”  
  
“—that too, and you take time out to check on people who get rolled between hedge rows in parks.”  
  
“Dlol toma genzsby sedu sxnem.”  
  
As curious as I had become, her answers were wasted on me, so I saw no point in asking any more questions. Besides, aside from breakfast, my priority was to find Maggie, not to chat-up strange strangers. “Uh-huh. Well, I hope your friend shows up soon. Goodbye.”  
  
As I went inside the restaurant I heard her say something else. I didn't really care what it meant; I didn't want to be rude, but I was getting annoyed by our one-way conversation. After my breakfast, she was gone from the patio. I figured whoever she was waiting for showed up.  
  


* * *

  
I found a print shop and ran off some fliers using a photo from my wallet. It wasn't a very good shot, since Caleb took up most of the view and there wasn't much detail left after blowing up the image, but it was all I had to work with. I called-in to work and got my shift switched with a co-worker's so I wouldn't have to rush home, change, and come back to post fliers later in the day. I've heard that the first hours are the most important when someone goes missing. Of course, I went to the pokecenter and asked around there once I found out where it was. Mid-day by then, it got so hot that I took a little siesta in the center's lounge. I wasn't alone. I had some good conversations but none had seen a dinner-plate slinging mienshao on the lam.  
  
I called home around the time that the mail would be delivered; Paul would have to brave the sunlight to collect it. I asked him if Maggie had come back, but he said there was no sign of her there.  
  
Late afternoon, I finished walking pretty much every square foot of Fenchone Plantation. Not a single mienshao to be seen. Hell, most of the people outside of big cities had never seen one except on T.V. since they weren't native to Ocimene. I returned to the restaurant on the way back to get something to go. There, I found another not-native to Ocimene. She was sitting at the same empty table, head resting on her folded arms. As much as I didn't want to hear a bunch of her von-vaga-babble, at least her voice was pretty when she spoke it, and it was only fair; this morning I was the one who had suffered a blow and needed help getting up again. I entered through the other side so when she would see me approaching her table, I would be bringing food for us both.  
  
When she looked up at me, she had the strangest expression on her face. I'll never forget it, and I'll never be able to explain it.  
  
We ate silently. There was a conversation going on, but it was sublime. It was in the way we glanced at each other and passed the salt. It was like we had an automatic connection. A conflicted feeling came upon me. One part of me said, “Hey, this is going to be the one, I can feel it. None of those other harlots would've helped you out. They would've taken your plastic after the biker took your cash.” The other part of me only worried, “Haven't you looked at your track record, Manny? They're always too good to be true, and this is the most too-good one yet.” The sound of her straw slurping up the last of her drink snapped me out of it.  
  
“I guess it's time to go.”  
  
She nodded slowly and glanced to her side, but she didn't leave her seat.  
  
“You don't have anywhere to go, do you?”  
  
“Von-o-kono a-le ies.”  
  
“I remember you said that when I left this morning; wait, were you telling me then that—hold on, I thought you were waiting for someone.”  
  
She nodded.  
  
“But if that vono-cono-alley-eyes thing means you're—can you somehow tell me, in a way I can understand, who you've been waiting for?”  
  
She perked up immediately. “Von kono,” she took my left hand with her right, placed it on her left palm, and trapped it beneath the other, “a-le-le,” she looked up at me, “ies.”  
  
I don't know why I walked her to my car, put her inside it, and took her home. It felt like I was under a spell. You don't bring strange women you've only known for a few hours home with you. Well, if you would, there are motels for that. I opened the door to my car for her and guided her in, trying to be as gentlemanly as I could. That I had failed to find Maggie, and that this young woman had made me forget about her, came back to the forefront of my mind. It was when I touched the robe she wore—the fabric was rich and soft, just like my mienshao's fur. I even thought I smelled a trace of her fruity shampoo, but I was sure that was merely an associated memory or a wisp of residue from times Maggie's ridden in the passenger seat.  
  


* * *

  
Paul was long gone when we arrived. I started to give her an orientation, and realized we had not even exchanged names yet. I invited her to sit on my couch. She sat delicately, being careful to draw out the dangling length of her robe's belt, as though she was concerned about sitting on it. It was a funny thing; sometimes it seemed to twitch and wiggle on its own.  
  
“Since you're, well, here, I guess we should get properly acquainted. My name is Manny. Uh, can you say that?”  
  
Her eyes narrowed and I shifted uncomfortably. Somehow I knew that look.  
  
“Von lega katalo Mahni eneb.”  
  
I felt like I had just been scolded. “Okay, good, I heard it in there. Now, what's your name?”  
  
She seemed to be the uncomfortable one now and did not respond. I fell into an embarrassing imitation of all “exchanging names with a foreigner” scenes I'd seen in movies and on television. After a little bit, though, I became certain that she understood, but that she didn't want to say her name. Or maybe, she couldn't remember it. It was possible I wasn't the only one that biker knocked senseless last night. She didn't seem hurt at all, though; the way she yanked me off of the ground, that biker may have been on the losing end.  
  
“Von kono atebi sedu lilif.”  
  
“Lilith?”  
  
I felt better now that we had at least established names, but that was about as far as I figured we could get for now. I glanced down at the table and saw the remaining fliers. I offered Lilith use of the bathroom and kitchen, warned her to stay away from Paul's room, and set out to hang the rest of the fliers around town or maybe find Maggie out there myself.  
  
When I got back, it was rather late. Carthamus isn't big in population, but it's very spread out. Even with wheels, it took a while to find good places to post fliers. A few steps inside, I sniffed the air and noticed that Lilith got into Maggie's shampoo; now I'll know I'm smelling it on her. I looked around the house and didn't find her until I checked my own bedroom. She was lying on my bed, watching my small T.V. at low volume.  
  
“Lilith?” She had not noticed when I opened the door, and jumped with surprise when I spoke. “I was kinda thinking the fold-out couch bed might be a little more appropriate.” She gazed at me with an incredulous smirk for a moment, then she looked back to the T.V. and drew the covers up and over her body. “You want to sleep in a strange man's bed?” I couldn't help but play with this situation. “You aren't afraid of what might happen?”  
  
She looked squarely at me and squinted crookedly. “Von lega uidafoy sedu.”  
  
Then she licked her smiling lips, turned off the T.V. with its clicker, and pointed at the light above. I flicked the switch off, and darkness conquered our surroundings. As I stepped fully inside and closed the door behind me, light from the hall behind that flashed inside her eyes like they were those of a nocturnal predator. Indeed, that is exactly what she was. If the moon were full instead of half, I would've feared she might transform into an animal, like a werewolf, and tear me apart. Perhaps that would've been for the best.  
  
I don't know what came over us, over me. I didn't for a second feel any sense of inhibition. We made passionate love that night, and it was the best I had ever had. It had been a long while since my last time, but it didn't feel like I was seizing an opportunity or adding a notch to my bedpost. It felt like the wheels were already in motion and what we were doing was so absolutely natural that not to proceed would seem absurd. I don't think I was alone with that feeling. Lilith's enthusiasm was impossible to match and it was like she knew exactly what I enjoyed most. The only strange thing about it was that she absolutely refused to remove her robe, or even let me feel beneath it. I wore protection for obvious reasons, but I still expected that she would be worried about, you know, her fluids getting on her clothing. After all, the clothes on her back seemed to be all she had to her name. But when I voiced my concerns, she merely shushed me and rolled her hips forward with greater strength.  
  


* * *

  
When I awoke the next morning, I awoke alone to a buzzing sound. That must be the washing machine, I thought; the clothes I'd taken off in the night were nowhere to be seen. I guessed “doing it” dressed gave her a thrill, and she planned to use the washer come morning, anyway. I didn't really have time to think about it, as I realized when I looked at the alarm clock I had been too distracted to set, and saw I was already doomed to be late and getting later with every second. I had a double in front of me since I needed to pick up the hours I traded the day before and work my usual time, too. I threw on what was handy and rocketed through the living room, bidding farewell to Paul, who responded with a yawn since the sun was about to rise on him, and to Lilith, who seemed quite at home drinking coffee from Maggie's usual mug.  
  
It wasn't until I pulled into my parking spot that I began to consider: if she was doing our laundry, how was Lilith wearing her robe when I left? Did she hand-wash it separately, or didn't at all? I walked into my work wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into with this woman.  
  
A long day's hours later, I came home feeling totally beat. It made me wonder if those rumors about sex before a game ruining an athlete's performance were true. I spoke Maggie's name, but she was still gone from my life. I then looked for Lilith, but she was absent, too. I went into my bedroom and found the whole thing had been tidied-up. In fact, it was so inviting I couldn't help myself but to strip down, climb into bed, and set my alarm clock for three hours hence to recover my senses with a nap. I buried my face in my pillow; it smelled slightly fruity.  
  
The scent was stronger when I awoke not an hour later. Lilith had slipped into bed with me and nestled close. I ran my hand along her body. I could swear that her robe had to have been made from mienshao fur. Not common or popular among the majority, but not illegal, either. I had never felt anything like it, except for the genuine article. It and the loose-fitting pants she wore beneath it were even accented with a mienshao's shade of lavender. I brushed my hand along the left sibling of the short twin braids that normally dangled down just in front of her ears. Her cheek twitched and she smiled and shifted. The way she dressed herself, it was almost as if she wanted to be a mienshao. I thought of Maggie, and realized that I couldn't blame Lilith for admiring the species, but I did wonder what happened to her to make her want to somehow change. I wondered who she really was on the inside beneath her disguise as I fell asleep again.  
  


* * *

  
When I awoke the next morning—she must have turned off my alarm—the room was still. A new box of condoms stood on the nightstand next to a small dish holding a sprinkle of fruity potpourri. A not-at-all subtle sign that she enjoyed herself, and that she went shopping at some point, too. Obviously she found my cash stash while tidying the bedroom, or got into my wallet… Wait a second. Before I got hit, I thought I caught a glimpse of Maggie in the park and I followed her into the hedge rows. Then I got hit by that biker. I woke up with no money and Lilith standing over me. Then I met her in town waiting for someone who doesn't show up. I give her a place to stay, she immediately jumps my bones, makes me late for work, and then while I'm gone she goes through all my stuff and leaves it looking like she did me a favor of cleaning up to make me think she's being nice. Dammit!  
  
I knew what happened. I wanted to find Maggie so badly that when I saw Lilith, looking like a mienshao because of how she dresses, I mistook one for the other and I walked right into a trap. Then, her accomplice, the biker, beat me up and knocked me out. They took my money, he went off on a shopping spree while she kept me distracted after I woke up so I won't think to immediately call the cops—God, I'm stupid!—but then either he stood her up and she's letting me think it's love at first sight because I'm a fucking fool and she needs someone to rely on, or this is still part of their con and next time I wake up I'll be tied to the bed, she'll have a gun to my head, and that biker dude will be walking out with all my stuff. Unless they wake Paul up; he could go full-out vampire on them or something for touching his coffin.  
  
I threw off my sheets and paced out of my room. I had to find out what was going on. I didn't see her in the living room and was about to step outside, ready to shout in futile anger, when I heard a cabinet door close. When I got to the kitchen, my heart skipped a beat.  
  
“Maggie?”  
  
She looked at me with a startled expression and dropped the bowl of cereal she held. I rushed forward and took her in a great hug, lifting her off of the floor for a moment, away from scattered bits of breakfast flakes. I was so happy my eyes teared up a little.  
  
She seemed stunned for some reason. It was like she didn't think I would be happy to see her. I brought her to the living room and stepped away to get her cards so I could ask her to tell me everything that happened. Her answers were vague and terse. That she didn't want to talk about it at all worried me deeply. I started a process of elimination, but she soon interrupted it. She patted the seat beside her and when I sat there, she twisted to face me and raised her arms.  
  
I drew her near for another hug and I enjoyed feeling her body finally relax. I was still worried about what she went through, but I was happy for her that she was okay and happy that she came back home. I think she picked up on that because she became more affectionate, licking my neck and kissing my cheek as she often wanted to and as I occasionally permitted. She got a little reckless though, and almost kissed me on my lips. I warned her that she was letting her emotions get the best of her.  
  
I took her in my arms again and held her close with her head on my left shoulder. She started to sob gently; I knew whatever happened while she was gone, it was still bothering her. We sat there for a little while, but soon I had to get ready to leave for work. I stroked her fur along the right side of her head and neck and told her again how happy I was to know she was back, safe at home.  
  
When I walked out the door I heard her make a strange sound. It was… wistful.  
  


* * *

  
When I came home from work that afternoon, Maggie was not there. Lilith wasn't either; I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I decided to sit down, relax, and think things through. Maggie left me confused. She left in a huff, showed up again like nothing had happened, and ran off again. I had hoped to find out the whats, whys, and hows of her absence, and instead I got no answers, a couple hugs, and an empty home to return to. I guessed Lilith did about the same, leaving me with an empty home, too. Well, not empty in the sense I had imagined: her accomplice stealing my things. What Lilith left behind for me was confusion. She came to me like a guardian angel with a punctuality problem, waited all day for me to work my way around her language barrier, made herself at home without the slightest hint of awkwardness in unfamiliar surroundings, and made love to me like she was designed for that purpose, somehow.  
  
Something about that didn't sit right with me. I returned to my bedroom and checked the night stand to see if it was still there.  
  
My suspicions just didn't add up. Even if she was scamming me, lulling me into a false sense of security, or whatever, surely she wasn't planning to keep this up for a month before making the big grab and cutting out. The box was a pack of thirty-six; that seemed like a serious investment in me, to me. Even if it was my own money she spent to buy them.  
  
In the kitchen, I swept up cereal from the floor and tended to a few dishes. That was the one chore that Maggie absolutely refused. No matter how careful she tried to be, those lengths of fur always got wet and made a mess. I washed her mug and set it in its usual place, before remembering that Lilith used it the day before. If Maggie caught Lilith using her cup, she would at least draw blood and probably break a bone. I hid it away behind the other glassware to be safe.  
  
Paul got up as the sun went down and followed his usual twilight ritual. I asked a few things to see if he knew anything about Lilith's departure; they did share a moment that morning, and who knows, maybe he can understand her. I know he has a couple paperback novels written in an alphabet using extra letters I've never seen anywhere else. Whatever the case may be, he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about at first, but he settled on stating that he did not know where my mystery woman was.  
  
I sat about for a while longer, but felt like I needed to go and do something to clear my head. I decided to ask Paul for the favor of a couple hours of his time before he left for work, to which he agreed. Then I hopped into my car and went for a drive. I thought about maybe buying something for each of the girls, but while I knew of things Maggie would like, I didn't know if she would be at home to enjoy them, and I had no idea of anything Lilith would like, or if she would be home to enjoy them, either. Or, if I should welcome her back at all.  
  
With every mile I traveled, I changed my mind between wanting to trust Lilith with absolute faith, and wanting to accuse her of being a crook who helped set me up for at least one robbery. I drove a lot further than I planned, following an unfamiliar road and hoping I would eventually figure out where it was leading me.  
  


* * *

 


	3. Burning Both Ends, As Told By Maggie, Mostly

 

* * *

  
Diaphanous Perception, Chapter 3: Burning Both Ends, As Told By Maggie, Mostly.  
  


* * *

  
“Seko-ko-da-le bakavo sedu etag!”  
  
I ran into Franz, literally and figuratively. I didn't feel like I had any time to slow down. He twisted out of my hold when I grabbed his shoulders, distracted me with a couple swings of his yo-yo, and slapped me hard.  
  
I shook off the strike and continued what I was saying. “Please, Franz, I'm begging you. You have to do it again! It's just like I was hoping: when I'm a human for him, he loves me the same as he always loved me except what I am doesn't get in the way. Franz, don't do it only as a favor for me, do it for him, too. All his life he's been filling with desire to love and be loved, and deep down I know I'm his soul-mate. Every moment we've spent together, he's been changing back into the Manny I used to know. And then, when we made love together, and he held me after, I've wanted to… I haven't seen him so happy in years. It wasn't just because he got his end away, it was like he finally let go of all the pain and all the shit those whores put him through.”  
  
“And, when you're not a human for him?”  
  
I slouched. I looked downward, then looked away and to the right. “One peck on the cheek and he shoves me to down the floor. Oh, I don't mean he actually pushes—”  
  
“I know; you mean he puts his pokemon in her place.”  
  
For some reason, hearing him say it like that made me want to fight him. I knew he felt my emotion, and expected him to do something preemptive. Then, he hung his head and shook it.  
  
“Okay, since he accepts your human appearance so willingly, I can restore the hypnosis easily and make its effect stronger. But, if he has figured out the truth or no longer wants to see your mirage, the effect will not hold, unless.” He exhaled sharply and grunted.  
  
I glared at him with my good eye. “Unless what.”  
  
“Never mind that. What you already ask of me is a step too far. Only because you have been the zorua's one kind friend have I helped you.”  
  
I shifted uncomfortably. “Well, I mean—one?”  
  
“Be silent! Let me determine how I should re-apply his hypnosis.”  
  
He set aside the rake he had been using on Shelia's backyard, leaned against his home, and idly played with his yo-yo with his eyes closed. I stood there and watched his eyes flick back and forth beneath their lids and thought about the consequences of what I was doing to Manny. My selfish side didn't care what it took to keep him seeing my mirage as long as he was as happy as I knew I could make him, but then again, my selfish side didn't want him living a life in love with “Lilith.” I wanted him to love Maggie, to hold her again like he did that one night long ago. Lilith needed more time to finish her work, but I did not want to live my own life as an endless masquerade. Lilith couldn't even grunt out basic words that any domestic mute can approximate if he tries. Considering that, while Franz considered whatever he was thinking of, I wondered if Lilith could get a small improvement.  
  
“Franz.” I had to gently shake him out of it. “You understand me now, so you'll have to hypnotize me again so I can talk like a strange human when I go back, right?”  
  
He grunted again. “Yes.”  
  
“I know it will be riskier, but can you make it so I can control what sounds I say? I might need to talk to another pokemon without being snapped out of it, and since what you did can let me say human sounds, if I can choose which ones, I could at least make simple words. I know the reading of all the words on my cards and we've communicated with those for years, so if I could make their sounds, even badly…”  
  
Franz dangled his yo-yo again for a few seconds and stared into my eyes as I became drowsy. It snapped back up into his palm and he said, “I'll try. I offer no guarantee that your plan will work the way you hope it will.”  
  
I nodded slowly and spoke slowly. “Thank you, Franz. So much.”  
  
His yo-yo dangled and swung again. I started to fade away.  
  
“I'll come at my convenience to hypnotize your master again. It will only take a moment, so I will come in the night. Until then, let your love for him steady your lust.”  
  


* * *

  
When I got home that evening, Manny's car was gone. Paul was in the living room with a large paper pad on an easel. The house shook with orchestra music; the kind you hear when Hell opens up and a demon escapes from the ground, or when an evil wizard summons terrible storms. He wore a black outfit, so dark that even the bright lights he set up in the living room could not change his body's shape from much more than a silhouette. Only a red bow-tie and handkerchief stood out.  
  
“Welcome home, Magdalene! Your Manny may be returning soon. He asked me to do for him some drawing of these persons and went shopping to Linalool to kill time while I create. What do you see, good?”  
  
I stepped around the easel. There were two figures. One was obviously some biker guy. The other was me, Lilith. I had no idea what Manny saw when he looked at me after being hypnotized. The description he gave Paul to work from apparently described a very attractive human, and somehow I felt a little jealous of myself.  
  
“Do forgive that I had you in mind when I drew this woman bandit, but he said she and you are very alike in ways, so I stole your details here and there to fill in gaps. Especially there.” He pointed out Lilith's eyes. “I apologize, because eyes are windows to someone's soul, and I feel bad putting your soul behind these eyes of a mean woman.”  
  
Paul turned off the music and frowned at the soft pastel fingerprints left on the stereo. How his clothing always remained immaculate I will never know. “Now, I must wash this mess off of my hands and go to my work. Do for me one favor, put these lights into my storage.” He walked into the kitchen toward the sink.  
  
Paul was known to be very discrete, so I decided to test myself out. “Ohhh-kei.”  
  
“Thank you, Miss Magd—do you now speak?”  
  
I peeked into the kitchen and hummed affirmatively. I patted my chest and spoke one word at a time. “Try talk.” I looked down. “Hard work.” I pointed at him. “Get secret.”  
  
Paul drew a wet and soapy finger across his lips, twisted his wrist, and withdrew his hand with a flourish. I guessed that was an agreement.  
  
Soon, Paul disappeared into the night. I sat in the living room, admired the artwork, and relaxed into half of a nap until Manny returned. He hugged me tightly but chastely as soon as we came together, and I helped him bring inside what he bought; general merchandise and some uncommon groceries that are only available in the trade centers.  
  
Manny approached the easel. “Damn, looks like he's about to jump off the page and mug me again.” He glanced at Lilith, and froze up.  
  
I stood beside him for a little bit. Then I leaned against him. He put his arm around me.  
  
“I don't know if I can do this. She's got to be involved, it's just too much to be a coincidence, but look in those eyes. Those aren't the eyes of a criminal are they?”  
  
I closed my eyes and shook my head no with a low grumble.  
  
“I hope you're right.”  
  
He tore the paper away from the pad, took a pair of scissors and split the image of the biker from the image of the exotic woman, and set the latter aside before we climbed into his car and set off for Fenchone's police station. He filed a report of the assault, gave them the sketch of the biker that Anton appeared as, and did not mention a strange woman wearing a soft mienshao-fur robe.  
  


* * *

  
That night, I held the other half of the paper and my card that meant “who?” such that it was all he would see when he opened the bedroom door after I knocked. He invited me in, hopped back on his bed, and muted the television while I sat beside him.  
  
“You see, when you ran off, I went out to look for you. I was in the park in Fenchone, thought I saw you, made a wrong turn, and got robbed. When I came out of it, she was there.”  
  
He looked at the paper for a little bit, then he set it aside. I was a little surprised when he leaned forward and grabbed my arms, forcing me to come towards him. He pulled me into a hug while turning me around, so I was lying against his chest as he leaned against his pillows and headboard.  
  
“I hope she comes back. I want you to meet her. So far, Maggie, you've always been right about the girls I pick being no good, and I've never listened to you until I'd already stepped in it. So, I want you to meet Lilith and make the call for me, because I just don't know. It's like she makes me feel so, complete. God, I always hated that expression, but; but, something's wrong about her. When I step back and look at the whole situation, everything about it, her, seems phony. I don't know what I should do if she does come back. But, I know you'll know. Maggie, I'm trusting your instincts this time. Well, I've always trusted you, but I kept hoping each time that you would be wrong.”  
  
He hugged me tight, took a deep breath, and held it. To be honest, I've never liked artificial fruit scents, but I loved how he reacted to them.  
  
We watched television together all evening. Taking strategic control of the remote, I even got an extra half-hour to finish a film that he thought I cared about finishing. Really though, I was just hoping to entrench my position. I think it almost worked.  
  
When he shooed me away, I changed tactics. I took the drawing and put it on his pillow beside him. I shuffled rapidly through my cards, “Want, this, here?”  
  
Manny laughed. “The paper? Not really. The person on it? I think so. But that'll be your decision. If you sense anything off about her, tell me.”  
  
I shuffled again and took a gamble that it might break the hypnosis if he thought about it later. I needed to know how Lilith's appearance compared to mine. I held up, “Look, same, pokemon,” and added a gesture to indicate myself.  
  
“Yeah, she does look like you. Maybe that's why I think she's so adorable. Or maybe I have a thing for strong girls who look good in white and lavender.”  
  
He crawled over the bed and offered me a hug, an invitation I accepted immediately.  
  
“I don't know if I can handle it, having both of you in my life. That might be too much of a good thing.”  
  
I wanted to slap him, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. I wanted to slap myself, but that wouldn't fix things. So, I held him as tight as I could without hurting him.  
  
“Okay, Maggie. Mag, let me go. Too much of a good thing.”  
  
I knew I needed to get away, but as I left with hurried steps I hesitated at his door to flash three cards, “Not good, best.”  
  


* * *

  
Elsewhere…  
  


* * *

  
A few towns to the east of Carthamus, and a little north, too, stood a man roughly shoving a fuel pump nozzle into its slot, waiting for his receipt and waiting for his pokemon.  
  
“Adolf Miesetier?”  
  
The biker glanced over his shoulder while screwing the cap back onto the tank of his chopper.  
  
“I'm detective Palmer, Rennin Police Department. I'd like to ask you a few questions.”  
  
“Is this about that shit last month up in Dithio?”  
  
“I am not aware of any incident there, Sir. A report of assault and robbery was filed last night in Fenchone Plantation. The alleged victim supplied a sketch which the department distributed around the region. Do you recognize this man?” Detective Palmer showed the biker a facsimile of the original sketch given with Manny's report.  
  
“Looks like me, but I haven't robbed anybody lately.”  
  
A light and cheerful female voice erupted from behind the fuel pump. “And you need to. We're getting poor and I'm getting bored.” A lopunny with a backpack dangling from her left arm came around and walked up to the biker. She slapped his ass with her right paw. “What does the fuzz want?”  
  
Palmer ignored the pokemon. “Where were you on the night of the fifth?”  
  
Eva pounced on the question. “I had him pinned between my thighs most of the time.”  
  
Adolf grasped both of her ears and tugged them upward, making her yelp. “Shut up and get my seat warm, woman.”  
  
The lopunny shoved his chest and made him stagger back a half-step. “Hey, I told you only to do that during dungeon night!”  
  
Palmer forced a cough.  
  
The biker addressed the question. “The fifth, we were way out west, riding along Palmitoy Creek.”  
  
“Do you have any way to prove that?”  
  
“Yeah, I got pulled over for a burned out plate light. I'm sure they'll tell you all about it; nothing ever happens out there, so I probably made their evening. Are we free to go?”  
  
“No, but if you will wait patiently for a few minutes and if the Palmitoy department corroborates your statement, you will no longer be a person of interest in this case.”  
  
Eva pulled a beer out of her backpack and uncapped it with her teeth.  
  
Palmer placed a call, waited on hold for a short time, shared a few words, and hung up. “Alright, you're free to go. Thank you for your co-operation.”  
  
Eva slid off of the seat so the biker could mount his chopper. “Pleasure doing business with you, Fuzz. Want a hit?” She offered the bottle to Palmer, who declined wordlessly. She climbed on again, clinging tightly to her partner as his bike peeled away.  
  


* * *

  
Consequentially…  
  


* * *

  
Manny awoke not to his alarm clock but to a telephone call from the F.P.P.D.  
  
“What? But it was a perfect match. I picked him out of the array of mugshots, the computer face thing picked him out, too. How could—Palmitoy? No, you're right, he would have to be in two places at once. He doesn't have a twin does he? Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”  
  
I sipped some orange juice from a small box while straining to overhear his conversation down the hall. Two places at once. If he wanted me, Maggie, to meet me, Lilith, I'd have to somehow do that. I didn't think Franz could, or would, manipulate Manny's mind enough to pull it off. It was bad enough already that, assuming it worked, when he came out of his bedroom this morning he would see me as—  
  
“Lilith?”  
  
—again, and think that—  
  
“Maggie must have let you in, where is she?”  
  
“Von lega mukako.” I stepped forward, grabbed his head with my palms, and pulled him into a kiss. He quickly shared my sentiment. It felt wonderful.  
  
We made a simple breakfast: toast, butter, jam, juice. I reclined against him as we sat on the couch and enjoyed the warm morning sunlight coming through the big front window. It was almost too relaxing. I wanted to fall asleep more than I wanted to munch on toast. That wasn't going to happen, though, since Manny wanted to figure out why Lilith was here and Magdalene was not. With nodded yeses and shaken noes, I steered his train of thought as safely as I could. He seemed to arrive at a conclusion that Maggie wandered away again, left the door unlocked, and that Lilith didn't bother to knock or ring the bell. Being in his loving embrace was the comfort I for so long sought, but now it was uncomfortable. Not because I didn't feel good sitting with him, but because I was annoyed that he was thinking about a me, when I wanted him to think about my me. Of course if he thought about that me, he would raise his guard again, so the me he was thinking about was the best I could hope for at the time, but it wasn't the one he was truly holding and that longed for his attention that it now received through deception. I don't know if that makes any sense now; I didn't then, either.  
  
Manny started talking off to the side. “Maggie's been acting so weird lately; kinda moody and disappearing without a word. I don't know, maybe she found a male she likes and is spending time with him. I did that once in my life, too. Uh, genders reversed, I mean. I guess that's good, I was getting a little worried. She never showed any interest in boys, except for one and I think they had a falling out. I hope this isn't a rebound thing because of that. She doesn't need to go through what I have. Oh, I'm sorry, Lil', I started thinking out loud. Hey, if you met a man you liked, you'd do some crazy things, right?”  
  
I laughed and agreed. “Deho leve ayatko tojt seer.”  
  
Manny brushed away some toast crumbs and cleared his throat. “I know I've done a few crazy things recently, too.” Looking at me while he said that, I noticed a flash of revelation in his eyes as he surely realized that I was one of the crazy things he was doing. He shifted in his seat and slid me away from his side.  
  
“I don't know how to say this. Lilith, I—I know you can't give me much of an answer that I can understand, but I need to know: what do I mean to you? It's, if we're just casual to you, that's okay. But, I need to know if that's it, or if you want more. Because if you do, Lilith, well, that's more than okay. Okay?”  
  
I leaned against Manny and grasped his hands, then I spoke softly against his left ear. “Von-o-kono a-le ies.”  
  
For a second time on my responsibility, Manny was a little late for work again, but it wasn't as good as it was before. He wasn't giving all of himself to me like he had been. He was holding back, distracted, worried, pensive. I knew what was wrong. I, Maggie, had not given him approval. I needed to rubber stamp Lilith so he could trust me with his unfettered love again.  
  
I needed to be in two places at once.  
  


* * *

  
“Okay, that's his car. It's showtime. I know this is really putting you out. Thank you. You're a real good friend, Anton.”  
  
(The zoroark suppressed all of his emotional response to the mienshao's statement.)  
  
Manny entered, sifting through the mail as usual. He fumbled an envelope when he looked up and saw both of his best girls seated in his living room. Side by side, we looked even more similar than he expected.  
  
“Lilith, Maggie, I've finally got you two together in one room!”  
  
Anton shuffled through my cards. Considering he had only a one hour crash course to work from, he looked competent enough in handling them, and flashed “what? do, now, we.”  
  
I noticed Manny's subtle flinch. Anton had the right words, but I would not put the cards in that order.  
  
“I don't know. I want to say, get to know each other better, but if you two have had all day, you're probably at the part where you take turns saying things that I'd be embarrassed to know you're saying about me.”  
  
Anton and I glanced at each other with mirrored smirks to make Manny break a sweat. He went to the kitchen and returned with some drinks. “Okay, if you're saying things behind my back, that's fine, but how are you talking?” He glanced at Anton, seeing me. “You're a mute, and you,” then toward me, seeing Lilith, “I don't know if anyone else on this planet understands what you say.”  
  
Anton started shuffling through the cards. He looked panicked; not like someone, me, who knew what she was doing with them. I had to intercede, so I pulled out a stop.  
  
“Secret.”  
  
Thankfully, that both halted Anton's effort and drew Manny's fullest attention.  
  
“Lilith? You've been holding out on me?”  
  
“Von lega azamgoj spek t'nek!” I shook my head, it was so easy to talk that way. “Old day, leave house, get talk.”  
  
Manny furrowed his brow. “You've disappeared because you went somewhere to learn to speak my language? I don't understand. Where—”  
  
Anton held a couple cards. “Don't ask.”  
  
We sat there and wasted about an hour passing sentence fragments around. The awkwardness kept piling up with every passing minute. Fortunately, we were saved by the telephone.  
  
“Yes? Really. I'll tell you what, Shelia; Maggie's been coming and going at odd times, so if Anton's disappearing too, I wouldn't be surprised if they're sneaking out to ‘play’ somewhere along Route F-C.”  
  
Anton overheard, and realized it was time for him to go.  
  
Manny called out to Anton as soon as he set his phone down on its pedestal. “Maggie?”  
  
Anton was already thinking out of character and ignored the name of his illusion at first, but Manny caught up with him at the door.  
  
“Hey, it's okay, you go have your fun. But, what do you think? I told you I'm letting you make the call this time.”  
  
Anton looked back at me, and I silently begged him to approve. He did, but he did it wrong. He winked at Manny, which was okay, with his left eye, which was not. Manny was too happy from receiving the go-ahead to notice that at the time.  
  


* * *

  
Franz's hypnosis effect held as the following days passed along. I couldn't keep asking Anton to keep traveling the route between our towns just to make cameo appearances, especially since Anton wasn't convincing enough to fool someone I'd lived with for years. Only because I had been “acting so weird lately” did Anton's Maggie pass at all. Fortunately, Lilith had a way to get rid of Magdalene indefinitely. Typical to his sex, with Manny satisfied for the evening one night, I slipped out of our bed and laid out my cards to leave a message, that I was happy out there and would try fending for myself like Caleb had. And, that I wished him well with Lilith. I felt terrible watching him decipher the message over breakfast that morning. He felt like I abandoned him, and that it was his fault by bringing Lilith in and crowding me out. Plus, he didn't want to imply blame of Lilith with her standing right there, so he bottled it up as best he could. I think it hurt me to see it as much as it hurt him to experience it. At least I was there to comfort him in a generic way.  
  
I thought that it would make things easier, but really it made things trickier. He was accustomed to having Maggie keeping him company. Now, he wanted Lilith to accompany him out on the town. Not that I did not want to be with him; I loved traveling around with him, even if it wasn't to anywhere more exciting than the mail office or a grocery store. But, since I wasn't a mienshao to him anymore, he didn't treat me like a pokemon in public. Depending on where you are and who you are around, that can cause a problem. Worse, said public would still treat me as I am. All I needed was for one wiseguy to say something like, “That's a sexy mienshao you got on your arm, pervert,” and unless Manny assumed it was a joke about Lilith's eccentric attire, the perception could shatter.  
  
I was playing hot potato with our hearts. I had to make sure I was holding his, and he, mine, when the music stopped.  
  


* * *

 


	4. Inconsiderate Intervention, As Told By Anton

 

* * *

  
Diaphanous Perception, Chapter 4: Inconsiderate Intervention, As Told By Anton.  
  


* * *

  
I really shouldn't have been doing it, but I couldn't get her off of my mind. Every few days, I had to go there and make myself feel worse. I complained about making the trips at her request, but after she wrote my part out of her script, I visited Carthamus regularly, anyway. I found a perfect spot beside Manny's house. It was hidden from the street and only visible from inside his bedroom at a particular angle, which I would exploit when he was surely not in its line. I'd settle into my hide, close my eyes, and listen.  
  
“I've been using my imagination for weeks now, Lil'. Why won't you let me see you?”  
  
“Sekl-e-plœt hagalej.”  
  
Franz couldn't explain how the hypnosis he applied to her affected her speech, only that it changed how things connected. Listening to it intently, I felt like I should understand it even though I couldn't. It was familiar but everything was wrong, like a strange dream. I wished I was dreaming, but this was a nightmare.  
  
“Lilith, please. This has gone on long enough. It's like your skin has some sort of terrible secret. Look, you could be covered in scars, have big discolored patches, a regrettable tattoo, I'm still going to love you. But this behavior isn't normal and it can't be healthy. You've been wearing that robe almost twenty-four-seven since the day we met. I've never seen you out of it! I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but Lilith, I want to touch you. You, not your robe. When I hold you, it's like holding Maggie because it's the same kind of fur.”  
  
Knowing what I knew, and knowing her, that had to hurt her.  
  
“No, Lil', don't cry. I like that, it's comfortable; but it's not you. See? I want to make love to you, not this garment that I'm seeing and feeling between us.”  
  
“Von-o-lega uidale sedu sink xi?” There was a pause before she continued slowly, “You want love, true me?”  
  
“Yes!” Manny shouted with a tone that conveyed a desperate attitude.  
  
The room's lights were off except for a lamp. It was perfect for my voyeurism: bright enough that I could see what was happening inside without losing my night vision, or casting enough light to leak outside and make me visible. She was standing in front of his T.V. looking nervous. She slowly raised her paws and ran them across her upper chest and over her shoulders. I wasn't sure what she was doing at first. Then she reached near her waist and fumbled around a little. Then it made sense. Manny mentioned a robe; that must be part of the image that Franz put in Manny's mind to replace what she really looked like. She hesitated and he encouraged her to continue. She was taking off the imaginary robe, and Manny was buying it.  
  
When he complimented her beautiful nude body, something his mind was visualizing for him, she shied away. She turned her blind side to him, which let him sneak up on her accidentally. He embraced her, making her jump, and I growled faintly for a second. He spoke so low I could barely hear.  
  
“Your skin is so soft, and smooth. Lilith, it—it feels almost the same as your robe. I don't know how you do it, but everything I learn about you is a pleasant surprise.”  
  
“Von-o-aliv nalabay t'zte sela?”  
  
“I hope you'll pleasantly surprise me with more of my own language someday. I'm going to get us something special to drink. If you really want to put your robe back on, please do. Whatever will make you comfortable. I won't let it come between us again, if you know what I mean. I only needed to know that you knew that you could trust me with your secrets, and that I wouldn't turn you away.”  
  
Manny exited his bedroom. I watched my Magdalene take a few aimless steps before stopping before a mirror above his dresser. She looked at a large piece of paper, set it down again, and alternated between two poses. One, her true stance, springy and pliant, and her other that was once awkward but now familiar, straighter and taller for her illusion's benefit. Manny returned with a bottle and a couple glasses. I ducked back down, just to be safe, and sat idle for a little while. They made small talk, very small in her case since she still could not say more than a few of his words at a time.  
  
When the words stopped, I had to peer through the window again. Because of the angles, I couldn't really see Manny, just Maggie on top of him and his hands on her chest. Not that there was much there like a human woman would have, but that did not seem to be a problem.  
  
I was enthralled by her motions. She would rise and fall, rock forward and back, swaying gently, firmly, and with fluid smoothness. She moved like the mienshao I knew in the circle. I could see the pleasure in her face as the stimulation pushed her expression from deliberate to relaxed and, as she began to vocalize that pleasure, aroused. Her whiskers lifted up and outward. With a bit of a stutter she asked him, “You want love, true me?”  
  
Manny replied with I guess something in her own words, “Vono-cono-alley-eyes.”  
  
She leaned down and kissed him. Her head disappeared from my view, while his hands relocated to her flanks. That was okay; if I could see her face, his would be there too, so to hell with that. I just imagined him away and myself in his place. Until I gave in to my curiosity and started watching them together, I'd only seen the female-on-male mating method once in a movie. I thought it seemed strange, and somewhat embarrassing, compared to our natural methods. But, having seen her doing it, the pleasure on her face—I could imagine the pride I would feel if I were responsible for that. Part of me started to swell with that pride.  
  
With every passing second, she became more vocal and more aggressive with him, and I became more in-the-moment, too. It wasn't long before Manny reached his limit. She wasn't done. I was fully ready to burst through the window and finish the job, but instead I sat there leaning against the side of his house, glancing sideways through the glass while she knelt above him and his tongue kept her moaning while his equipment rested and recovered.  
  
My mind wandered and I glanced away, listening and longing. When she started getting loud again, my idle imagining of her being with me outside the window tantalized me so that I gathered myself up and looked inside again in earnest. I got into position just as she approached the brink and changed her posture. There is no other way to describe it, she started screwing him hard. I couldn't help my hips' thrusting forward sympathetically with the bed's rhythmic noises.  
  
Much to my shame and the disgust of my immediate surroundings, she and I came together.  
  
I loitered for a while, but after Manny's condom was disposed of and he was licked clean, and, a minute later, Maggie returned from the bathroom, there wasn't anything more to see but his hand on her butt as she slept beside him. I slumped down against the house again, and waited patiently for my shame to relax.  
  
As I left, I noticed a light on inside the home on its opposite side. It must have been his roommate. I wondered what his opinion was of what was going on inside that house.  
  


* * *

  
The walk home after watching them was always slow and depressed, feeling bad about what I was doing, feeling bad about what I wasn't doing, feeling worst because I did the right thing and helped her fulfill her selfish dream when I wasn't even a part of it. When I got home, I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I got up, I tried pacing as if I hadn't run around enough that night, but it did not tire me. It made things worse because it gave me more time to think about the scheme that was in my head. Such deception was quite dastardly, even for a dark-type, but I couldn't help myself. My desire had grown too strong; already just thinking about the plan working was enough to make my body grow flush and warm all over. I had to do it, and resign to begging any gods above or below to forgive me for my sin.  
  
I gathered up what little money I called mine, something of an allowance I was permitted as a reward for good behavior. I would soon spend all of that credit. Then I added the money I took from Manny's wallet and gathered up some of Shelia's money too, to be sure I had enough. So much for good behavior. I tucked it into a shoulder bag and set off westward, through the woods toward Coroxon Gorge. I didn't go there to run away, though, like so many pokemon who were not able to get along with humans but were too accustomed to civilized ways to handle feral life. I went there because I needed something and my money wasn't enough to obtain it legitimately; Coroxon had its own way of dealing with supply and demand.  
  
It was mid-day before I found what I was hoping to discover. A little hole-in-the-wall shop, literally speaking, that offered bootleg copies of technical machines and use of the electronics needed to apply them. I think it was a garage for earth moving equipment originally. Its interior was lit with strings of tiny lights, the area I entered wasn't any larger than my master's bathroom, and the rest was partitioned off with a plywood wall that had a hinged window in its center. It creaked open as I was about to leave with an assumption that the merchant was out for lunch. A porygon2 peeked through and asked me what I wanted.  
  
I told it what I wanted.  
  
It warned me not to buy it.  
  
I insisted.  
  
It looked sad and sold me a disc for all the money I brought.  
  
I clamped on the speaker cuffs of an improvised T.M. programming machine and slipped my forearms into loose but effective leather restraint loops.  
  
It turned on the power.  
  
I thrashed about for quite some time.  
  
It turned off the power when the process was complete.  
  
I freed myself, clutched my throbbing head, and staggered away. As I left I heard it say, “I hope you chose wisely,” faintly over the ringing in my ears.  
  


* * *

  
I got home late at night, after Shelia had gone to bed but not before Franz recalled himself. He always stayed up to watch a favorite show that aired late on some nights.  
  
As a dark-type, psychics can only do to me what I let them. However, we had been together long enough that Franz had pried open a seam, you could say. As soon as I entered my home, he was inside my head. “She was worried about you. She called Immanuel to see if you were there with Magdalene, and when he said that she ran off on her own indefinitely, Shelia thought you two might have eloped.”  
  
“Not today.”  
  
Franz dropped his yo-yo. “You changed yourself.”  
  
I started using my first language again; I had to consciously do it. “Yes. It was time. Our master trusts you with her mind and to express yourself with mental suggestion. I've been stuck grunting half-words to make quarter-sentences all my life with her and before that. Besides, if my illusion skill is enough to walk among humans as one of them, I ought to be able to speak the part.”  
  
“Is that what you intend to do? Pass for a human?”  
  
“If I can.”  
  
“To what end?”  
  
“I want to feel a warmth that ought to be mine.”  
  
Franz reached over the side of his recliner and recovered his yo-yo. “And if you can't?”  
  
“I'll regret my failure and have it scrubbed out.”  
  
“Anton,” he called out to me as I started to leave, telepathically shouting to get my attention, although it wasn't much louder to me, “You can't erase that one. It's in your brain, your bones, and your blood forever.”  
  
I wasn't aware of that, but I did not want to look bad, so I tried to play it cool. “I'd better be successful, then.” I replied using human words without intending to.  
  
I lied on my bedding and wondered how Shelia would react. I had planned to simply not tell her and fake being as tongue-tied as any other mute making an effort, which I had been until today. Now, though, I concluded no matter how hard I tried, she would learn what I did sooner than later. I fell asleep thinking about pokemon she had owned. During her league journeys, Shelia's team seemed to be like a waiting room with six chairs and one revolving door. Franz was an early acquisition who she kept the whole way because they got along really well together, and I, being a species very rare in this region, was a special trade opportunity that let her get something new and interesting while trading off the less-desired half of her for-the-moment tournament team. Thinking back about it, the ones that spoke seemed to spend the least time in her care. Until Shelia went to work the next morning, I managed to keep my mouth mostly shut. Once she was gone, I took a recorder and worked on mastering Manny's voice. I really did not know him as well as I needed to, but after a few hours of practice, I was as close as I could hope to get. I tried out a few other voices, too, to go with other disguises. I could try those out on the streets of Fenchone and be sure I was convincing before I got myself in too deep. I left before Shelia returned home. If she counted her money and I was in the home, she would interfere with my plans as a consequence, to say the least. In for a penny, in for a pound, I snatched a little more from her cookie jar.  
  


* * *

  
How different my home town became. I blended in, instead of receiving stares for being an exotic species. I went to a restaurant and ordered food for myself without receiving any sideways glances from humans waiting to see if I was ordering for my master, too. I read a newspaper. The way that worked was somewhat unexpected; I couldn't read the words' meaning but I could read their sounds to myself and then understand that. I spent five minutes working on the front page, five more on the first section, and after that, reading felt almost natural. I returned to walking the streets and took in all the messages on signs and façades that until now were merely chaotic decorations on buildings. Not long into it, I felt like I took in too much and sought refuge at Fenchone Pokecenter.  
  
I had to make up some lies really fast as I sat in the center's lounge. I told them I trained pokemon once, but not in this region, and I was never in the league. Three of the trainers there believed it. The fourth didn't: she had a suspicious espeon in her lap that tried to taste my thoughts and failed. They noticed when I realized this and I became uncomfortable; I noticed when they ignored that fact and I became relieved; they noticed that too, or so it seemed. While other trainers came and left, she and I conversed for almost a couple hours. Zoe found ways to make mundane topics interesting, and Twinkle—she had owned her espeon since she was very young, Zoe admitted somewhat apologetically—was more interested in snoozing than in scanning an impenetrable gray haze.  
  
Time flew, and before I realized it, I was sitting on the west docks, watching a sunset. I wondered why I never thought to do this sooner.  
  


* * *

  
At home, Shelia hardly noticed me. Franz told me that her boss dumped a load of work on her and expected it done yesterday. That was fine by me, since it meant we would not have time for discussions that might see me slip, or for her to pay any attention to an emptied rainy day fund. I drew up my plans for the next day. I needed to get Manny out of my way temporarily, and I needed not to smell like Anton the Zoroark. I got in the bathtub, turned it up to being slightly uncomfortably warm, and worked on the first problem while lathering extensively my extensive coat. With each wash and repeat I felt a little closer to having a workable plan, which I was so focused on that I didn't know how many times I had lathered up so far and thus how long I had been in the bathtub. I only knew I had to be absolutely thorough.  
  
I, thankfully, yelped like a hound when the door shook and startled me out of my concentration.  
  
“Anton? You could've told me you needed a bath. Ugh, you know how late it is? I need to wash myself and get to bed, too; I don't have time to towel you off.”  
  
I tried to approximate an “I can do it myself” without either saying it too well or not well enough.  
  
“I'll give you three minutes. Get out, get as dry as you can, take the hair dryer, and finish off in the garage.”  
  
As I stood beside Shelia's car, struggling to fluff my fur and get as many watts blown through it as I could manage, I recalled the afternoon, when Zoe suggested I visit her at work sometime. She was a woman's hairdresser, but she felt she could do something dapper with the hair my illusion sported. Today I had worn an image based on a model in a magazine, so I was a little surprised that it was taking criticism on style. The real me wouldn't mind losing three quarters of this ungainly mass of born tangles, though. I went inside as dry as I could manage, and hopped into the recliner beside Franz on the couch. I never figured out how he selected which seat he would use on any given night. At his suggestion, and on his word he would not shout inside my skull again, I let him enter my mind and we communicated telepathically and subconsciously during commercials. He didn't like my plan, and honestly I didn't either. But, we concluded that I would not be dissuaded.  
  


* * *

  
With Manny's car sabotaged, I donned his image as my disguise and rode a bus back to Carthamus, both for appearance's sake and to pick up a layer of mingled human scent. Second guesses followed me until I got to his door. I stood there, closed my eyes, and thought about her; what she was putting herself through. It wasn't fair to her, to me, to even him. It couldn't last forever, and I knew how bad she would feel when it finally came down. I knew because she showed me a glimpse at the gym. She said it herself: it wouldn't work.  
  
I wasn't doing this for myself, as self-gratifying as I knew it would be. I truly believed she needed me to help her again, even if my method was highly questionable.  
  
I applied three bold strikes with the door's knocker. I worried I might had already blown it; what if Manny was a doorbell man? I couldn't remember, and it was too late to change it. Maggie checked me out twice through a narrow window beside the door before letting me in. I had my statement prepared. “Hey. My car broke down, I had to leave it at a shop, and I must've left my keys in it or dropped them on the bus, so I couldn't get in. Good thing you were waiting for me, right?”  
  
She said nothing and walked away to sit in front of the television. I expected some sort of a response or hint of a welcome. I couldn't stand around like a dope so I went to the kitchen and got a drink of water. I faked a phone call to a car workshop to support my story for now, then I came back and sat beside her. She was watching a mid-day game show. I almost spoke her name when I realized that she had two now, and that was what was making this situation so uncomfortable. I was successful, she saw me as Manny. But, since his perception of her had broken before, requiring Franz to hypnotize him again, she did not know for certain what and who Manny saw her as.  
  
“Lilith?”  
  
She snapped into her role and spouted something incomprehensible.  
  
My plan was to start sweet-talking her, but I couldn't do it. I didn't really know how, and it wasn't the sort of thing the Manny she told me she wanted would do. I became her Manny by being Anton. I opened my heart to her. I said things I'd wanted to say but had been too proud of myself, too afraid of rejection, or too embarrassed to say in public like at the gym, to tell her. Nothing she replied with made sense, but I knew the meaning from her tone when she offered to lead me into Manny's bedroom.  
  
Torturing myself by watching them go at it was now paying off. I knew a little too well the patterns of human, or at least Manny's, foreplay, and kept my portrayal consistent enough. I took a more dominant attitude, though. She seemed to like the introduction of a little aggression, but stopped me with a grunt before I pressed into her, indicating toward a box of rubbers on the table beside Manny's bed. I turned away from her and made an awkward dance modeled after a male stripper I saw on T.V. to distract and amuse her and to buy time while I figured out how to put it on. At least my real equipment was similar enough to Manny's to use it. A few species require special designs or materials.  
  
I felt like I was losing control of myself as I entered her body with my own. Her breathing fluctuated, and soon she fluctuated mine, as even the slightest contraction or twitch of her strong, fighting-type muscles caused my body to respond obediently to their suggestion.  
  
“Stop!” I grunted only a few minutes after we began. I had to withdraw myself for a second time, a little while after I continued from the first interruption I demanded. The contempt I held for Manny's inability to hold out until her climax arrived faded now that I understood what he was up against. “Sorry, I want us to finish together this time.”  
  
She rubbed herself slowly while I held my breath and focused on nothing. “Von plev nobus ehœh.”  
  
Undaunted, the third time was the charm. I got a little primal with her, nipping gently at a few of her parts, growling a little; out of character for Manny or who I thought Anton was, but it was enough to send her over the edge and I followed immediately behind her. In the moment, I never wanted the sensation to end. About a half-minute after it began, I wished that it could.  
  
There was a small detail I overlooked: her body held me tight, and my organ was designed to be trapped by that tightness. The human she saw would have been able to withdraw smoothly. I tried to convince her that I wanted to lie with her joined as we were, but she wanted to leave. I remembered then that she tended to go and clean herself up afterward. She became angry. She shoved me away from her, drawing a cry of surprise and probably a little pain as our union moved with me. Then she slapped me. My illusion faded.  
  
“Faxe kons cinbuj! Uidakoioi Anton! Uidagyoioi? Dolo da-le itag Mahni?”  
  
That's all I remember of what she said. After that, it was mostly shrieks and her hitting me. I used to say, even to her face, that she wasn't a very good fighter. I was wrong; what I had seen was her without proper motivation. Not that I had any ability to get away or defend myself, so mostly it was her beating on my face and ribs while I struggled to wrestle her into a position that would restrict her from beating on my face and ribs. Fortunately for me, after a half-roll that put her on top of me, the bed began absorbing part of the impacts, but as she hit me harder each time, I wasn't sure how long it would help.  
  
Her assault ended with the intervention of Manny's roommate. “So here is what happens in this room at night!” Maggie froze when she turned to face him, expressing absolute shame on her face and in her eyes, or at least the good one that I could see. The man continued, “I heard Immanuel's voice some minutes ago. Where is he now?”  
  
Maggie didn't want to answer, it would have been a guess anyway.  
  
“Tell me where he is, now!”  
  
I restored my illusion and answered in Manny's voice, “He is at his work. By now, he is probably wondering why his car does not start.”  
  
As if the timing were appropriate, Maggie pulled herself free of me as I discarded the illusion again.  
  
“To look like him is in your power?” He turned to Maggie. “Do you have this power, too? Maybe that explains some things that are confusing in this house.”  
  
The telephone rang, and the roommate left to answer it.  
  
I spoke as a human, but in my natural voice's timbre. “Magdalene. I am ashamed of what I did to you today, but not what we did together. You are important to me—the most important, Maggie—and I could not stand and watch you do what you're doing to him and to yourself when you know it will only go wrong in the end.”  
  
She was crying by this point. I couldn't be sure if it was because of the incident or because she knew I had to be right.  
  
“I thought if we mated, you would see that I can give you the physical love you want, the human kinds you like, and the emotional love you need too, from someone who has always been your friend, like Manny has, and who has always seen you as his perfect mate, as he hasn't.”  
  
The roommate came back. “Manny needs help with his auto. Are you going to come? I will give you some minutes if you need time.” Maggie shook her head.  
  
I told him where I hid the part that I took so he could find and replace it. When he left, I sat still for a while. She did, too, staring blankly at nothing, sobbing and sniffling.  
  
I reached out toward her, but she ducked out of reach, coughing out a faint “go away.” I tried to talk to her, but she would have none of it.  
  
“Anton! GO!”  
  
The anguish on her face made me feel the lowest I had ever felt in my life. I looked back as I stepped through the doorway. She wailed as she leaned over and buried her face in a pillow. That brought me down even further. I knew if I took another step, I could never take it back. “Magdalene, this isn't how it was supposed to go.” She scowled at me and flung the pillow away as she sat upright on the bed. “All I wanted was—” She brought her paws together before herself. “—for you to—” A bright blue glow from sparkling tendrils formed between them. I didn't know she knew how to create an aura-sphere, but I knew what it meant to a dark-type like me. “—please, forgive me!” I cried as I ran down the hallway. That a few seconds later a spirit-seeking orb didn't blast me unconscious was the only evidence that in a tiny way she did.  
  
I went to their bathroom to dispose of the rubber and wash myself. What a fool I was. I tried to fight fire with fire, using my illusion of her lover to try to trump her illusion of his lover. The kind of disaster I expected to be the result of her scheme was now the result of mine. Even if one day she could forgive me for what I had done, I knew I could never show my face, any of my faces, to her again. I didn't deserve to. And once word of this reached my home, could I show my face to Shelia or Franz either?  
  
I heard nothing but my own heavy heartbeat and my shattered precious Magdalene crying her soul out as I left her home.  
  
No. I didn't deserve that, either. I needed to go away. I needed a fresh start. I needed the company of someone who I felt truly in-tune with, without any of my sins haunting me.  
  


* * *

  
Like an ancient warrior who disgraced his clan, the time had come for me to cut my hair.  
  


* * *

  
I locked the front door behind me, walked to the street, and looked northward.  
  


* * *

  
I knew who I wanted to do that for me.  
  


* * *

 


	5. Penetrating the Veil, As Told By Maggie

 

* * *

  
Diaphanous Perception, Chapter 5: Penetrating the Veil, As Told By Maggie.  
  


* * *

  
I ran my bathwater almost scalding hot. Steam billowed and circulated my shampoo's fragrance. Soon, I was as clean as I could get myself, but I felt like I couldn't quite reach one hundred per cent. Anton contaminated my imagination. As I rubbed more soap into my fur, the contact was stimulating enough to make me remember other times I'd been touched all over my body. Instead of being inspired and planning things to do with my man after getting out of the tub, I only thought of what Anton did to me. His illusion had poisoned my mind. I couldn't think of Manny without thinking of Anton behind his image. Even though I knew it wasn't possible, remembering every time Manny and I made love in the past, I wondered if maybe it was Anton somehow.  
  
I sank low in the water that now filled the tub up to the overflow drain and tried to relax. Low vibrations drumming through the door let me know that they were home, that Paul went back to bed to catch a few hours before work, and that Manny was in a foul mood. I couldn't stay in here forever, even though I wanted to.  
  
I emerged from the bathroom a mienshao in Manny's eyes, to my surprise. And, according to the expression written across his face, one that needed a stern talking-to about popping into her previous home for the purposes of sex with her zoroark boyfriend disguised as her owner. He took that ball and ran with it. I sat at the dinner table in silence as he drew up wild theories, most notably and absurd that I was jealous of Lilith becoming close to him and displacing me, causing me to want to mate with Anton disguised as him as some sort of symbolic revenge. Growing bored, I ignored most of what he was actually saying until I heard him say something I wasn't expecting. He ordered me to leave. It wasn't hateful, but he said that he was so disappointed in me that he felt it would be better if I went back to being on my own that night, since he had nothing more he wanted to say that he wouldn't regret, and didn't care to watch me arrange cards into excuses.  
  
I knew he wasn't aware that he was telling me that he didn't care to know the truth of what Anton did to me, and even if I physically overpowered him and forced him to read my cards, I couldn't explain without admitting that I'd been doing the same horrible thing to him for weeks. So, I left.  
  
Contrary to Manny's belief, I really had not spent any time truly on my own and did not care to. My appetite was faint but starting to return to me. I went to Carthamus Pokecenter; it may be commodity-grade scrap meat from a slimy tin, but they will provide a pokemon with a growling tummy a meal for the cost of helping with any light housekeeping chores that need to be done, or free otherwise. They had me tidy up the lobby seating and put away scattered magazines. It was a fair deal.  
  
Night fell while I was inside the center. A half-hour passed as I wandered around the rural streets and tree lined paths. I stopped and stood beneath a yellowish-orange sodium lamp and stared up at it. My right eye watered so I covered it with a paw, leaving my left eye open and exposed. I had to prove to myself that I could do it. It wasn't until I gave up and turned away that I did do it. I saw. A faint, golden ghost of a blur darting across the coast of an eternally dark sea. I immediately shut my eyelids and covered my face to catch the last glimpse of its persistence as it vanished as though it never actually was. It was all that my left eye could give me anymore, but it was proof that even it wasn't completely blind.  
  
I became resolute. I needed his love and comfort right now, and he needed me to make him realize that. I needed him to see the light.  
  
I went home.  
  
The door was locked when I got there, but he did answer when I rang the bell.  
  
“Lilith? Oh, hey, come on in. You'll have to forgive me. I've had a shit day.”  
  
I re-entered his home a human in Manny's eyes. I guessed that was a clue about which of me he wanted to see. Lilith was supposedly taking language lessons somehow, so I exploited that. “Had shit day?” Really, if you think yours was something, wait until you hear about mine, Immanuel.  
  
He blushed a little, hearing his mildly profane words coming back at him. He looked at me, and his expression lightened. “Hey, do you think you can make my evening better?”  
  
I approached him with a forced fake smile. “Lilif make better. Easy.”  
  
He took my hands in his own, negotiating what he thought were sleeves with a twist, and kissed me. He recoiled.  
  
I realized why. “Bad taste me?”  
  
He confirmed with a slight nod.  
  
At least he didn't recognize it as pokemon-grade food residue, although instead he may have thought I recently dined on road kill. I darted to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. As I did, I stared at my reflection and scowled at the invisible human woman wearing my fur and getting his caring attention just for showing up at his door, when only a few hours ago I got thrown out after being taken advantage of. With Lilith's breath as fresh and clean as her robe, we flirted and made out a little off-and-on all evening long. It wasn't too bad once I convinced myself that no, what really happened when I got out of the bathroom was he asked me why I seemed upset, I showed him my cards, he understood, held his mienshao close, whispered into her ear that he loved her, and made the pain go away. Why not? I forced him to live one of my lies, why shouldn't I treat myself the same way?  
  
Lying in bed alongside Manny late into the night, the T.V.'s premium programming changed on schedule. Usually he and Lilith were either soundly asleep or getting busy by this time, so the T.V. was used to being off at this point, but tonight we were both too restless to sleep. As for the other option, he was somewhat distracted and I wasn't exactly eager. So, we watched it together, wordlessly agreeing that we both hoped it would help us get into the mood to take each other's cares away for the night. Soon he seemed more interested in watching my reaction to what was on his T.V. than anything else. The forbidden footage was now flickering before my eye, and what I saw was, well, weird. Confusing. The programming consisted of elaborate and highly unlikely scenarios leading up to passionless intercourse. This was worth an extra charge on his video service invoice? I'll admit, a few of their postures did seem like they might be interesting to try, but only for the sake of a new experience. Posed like that, neither one could really embrace the other. I turned it off and pressed my body up against Manny as I soon lost interest in the smut. He slowly began to fondle me gently, and kissed what he saw as my forehead.  
  
“Since you've learned a few words, can you tell me exactly what it means: vono-kono-alley-eyes?”  
  
“Von-o-kono a-le ies, make: you, me, together.”  
  
He leaned close and whispered, “I think we should get together right now.”  
  
That wasn't the “together” I was meaning, but I did not mind. Risking a pokemon-like behavior, I sniffed and tasted his neck. I had to do something to make sure it wasn't Anton to put my mind at ease. Striking him hard enough would be a better way to make sure, but a real Manny would be taken out of the mood by that.  
  
Having experienced both, I couldn't help but compare Manny's methods to Anton's. Differences, similarities; what stuck in my thoughts was that while both showed enthusiasm to be with me, only Anton had been enthusiastic about being with Magdalene. Like what I saw on the television, I experienced a passionless intercourse. I think he felt the same way. Tonight we were doing it hoping for a quick high, not for each other.  
  
After our union, he drew me close to his body again and whispered my babble into my ear. It sounded foreign this time. I returned the translation of what I meant when I said it, with a few extra words. “Any trouble, you, me, together, always, promise?”  
  
He sounded half asleep, but his response was unmistakable. “Together always, I promise you.”  
  
“You,” and “you” only, not “you, Lilith.” He made his promise to me. I fell asleep satisfied.  
  


* * *

  
Things were as normal as they could be for a while after that night. From what I overheard during one of Manny's telephone calls, Anton decided it was time for a change, and had been traded to some gal who lived on the other side of Fenchone. Good riddance. I survived a few awkward situations that arose, like when Manny decided to buy me something of a wardrobe. What he thought looked like a perfect fit was really a disaster, since my shape didn't actually complement women's wear at all. I then owned two real robes, a pair of strange shoes I could barely get my paws into, and some sort of lingerie that desperately needed a tail hole.  
  
Despite occasional bumps in the road, our love life returned to what it was before the incident. He gave Lilith his love and I accepted it for her, or should I say, through her. Sometimes I wondered if that was enough, or if that was the limit.  
  
One night, we fooled around, re-enacting a scene from a film we had just watched while lying in bed together. It was before the programming change, but would've fit right in. He got the easy role, lying on the bed and watching. And, since he didn't have to maintain any content rating standards, he got to ad-lib a little with lewd remarks and gestures extrapolated from his character's portrayal. I stuck to the script with substitute props, like a scarf instead of a feather boa. I stuck to the script as well as I remembered it, with a strut, a twirl, an immediately covered peek for him, followed by a coy turn to hide my insubstantial bosom, a blown kiss, a smile, a wink.  
  
He froze.  
  
I froze.  
  
Manny was the first to move again. “I'm sorry, I just remembered back to that day I came home and found you and Maggie together.”  
  
I remained immobilized, staring at him. That made him nervous.  
  
“Don't be mad, Lil', but I was getting a little uncomfortable around you because I was thinking silly things about how we met, and I wanted a second opinion I could trust before we, you know, went even further at being together. Anyway, you were the first girl she's ever approved of for me, giving me a wink before she darted out into the wilderness again. I'm glad she did. I've been thankful every day since she gave me that wink.”  
  
I kinda smiled a little. I was happy to have made him happy. Usually when I smiled, as Magdalene or Lilith, he did too. He didn't this time. His eyebrows lowered and he frowned a little.  
  
“Wait a—no, that was a left-eyed wink. Maggie wouldn't do that, she couldn't. The way she was facing, she couldn't even see me. Oh, I know, that had to have been Anton, sniffing around for Maggie. You were here and she wasn't, so he disguised himself as her. That's why ‘she’ was struggling with those flash cards…”  
  
I still had a little flame of hope burning inside me that he would somehow get away from this thought. He might second-guess Us knowing it was Anton who approved his relationship with me, with Lilith. Manny continued talking through it to himself, letting speculation run wild.  
  
“…no, after he left, any illusion he applied should've faded. You had to have been you; you couldn't have been anyone else, right?”  
  
“Me!” I nervously interjected. “You, me, always.”  
  
He got up from the bed, hiked back up his boxers, and took me in his arms. He hugged me and I hugged him, almost burying my face into his torso. Out of habit dating to well before my accident, I turned my head to my left when I did so. Our moment was ruined when I felt his right hand leave my shoulder, his left rest on my head to hold it still against him, and he asked me a terrible question. One that his mienshao couldn't answer under the circumstances.  
  
“Lilith, how many fingers am I holding up?”  
  
The only reply I had for him was a choke and a whimper.  
  
He gripped my shoulders and shoved me away.  
  
“Magdalene?”  
  
I looked at him, or at least tried to as tears started distorting my vision.  
  
“Maggie… how? How did you?” He sat on his bed. “You couldn't, there's no way.”  
  
He stormed out of the room, and as I followed, out of the house. “Anton! If you're here, you better show yourself!”  
  
He stormed back inside and started looking some more. “Of course, you've been letting him in so you can fuck him, too. Probably gave him a spare key. Anton!”  
  
“Manny!” I shouted. He was so pissed he looked ready to go searching in Paul's room. “Sapa tlan sekniluj Anton!”  
  
Manny lost his angry energy and walked up to me. “How did this happen, Maggie? Who helped you do this?”  
  
I felt like a rat. “Franz.” I held up my right arm and waved its tassel like a pendulum.  
  
He sat on the couch and thought for a very long time.  
  
I took a couple juice boxes from the refrigerator. I offered one to him, but he was not interested. I sat across the room in a chair no one ever really used.  
  
“Yes or no answers, you can handle that without speaking gibberish, right?”  
  
He asked a series of questions, and I answered “yes” to all of them:  
  
“You had Franz hypnotize me to make me see a human instead of you?”  
“You were role-playing her this whole time?”  
“The night you ran away, that was to set me up for this?”  
“The man who hit me, that was Anton, disguised?”  
“You all kept this a secret from Shelia, too?”  
“You brought Anton back into your scheme when you needed to be a human and a mienshao at the same time?”  
“You thought you could get away with doing this to me?”  
  
My last yes sounded quite shameful. Because it was.  
  
“What about Anton? Was that the price of his assistance? Letting him rip a part out of my car so he could fuck you on my bed all day?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“No, that wasn't a pay-off? Or, no, you just wanted to screw us both and compare to see which one you liked better?”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Then why were you fucking him when you went to all this trouble to get me to make love to you—oh… God. He made himself look like me to trick you into it.”  
  
We both started to cry a little at that moment, Manny covering his face and hanging his head. I sniffed with congestion and walked across the living room. I sat beside him, and we slipped into each others arms. I fought my way through every word, as I had to be sure he understood me.  
  
“When we meet, I see you, see love. You see me, see friend, see pokemon. I sad, see you friend woman, she make you sad. Again, again, again. I want you happy, see me, see love. Manny, you, me, always. Dese-se-konf yolkobol cel Mahni!”  
  
Leaning against each other for support, we sat on the couch together for a moment. How long I don't remember; until a great and mostly decorative clock chimed. I never liked that damned thing. We pulled ourselves apart, slowly because our awkward pose had planted aches inside our strained muscles.  
  
“Von lepo nalka,” I suggested.  
  
“Maggie, I…”  
  
“We go, bed.”  
  
He agreed. I followed him inside his bedroom, which seemed to surprise him slightly; perhaps he expected I would sleep on the couch, being a mienshao again. I didn't let him argue.  
  
“Von-o-kons mulage Lilif, mulabo Maggi.”  
  
“Maggie, I'm not sure if—”  
  
I leapt up onto him, forcing him to catch me or be pulled off balance. It was a lot easier to repeat his words than to compose my own, and he couldn't argue with himself. “Thankful every day since she give me wink. Mahni, make lie?”  
  
He mulled it over for a moment, trapped between the strain of his own admission and the weight of a well-fed mienshao clutching his body as though for dear life. Soon, he collapsed.  
  
“No, I didn't lie to you. Let's go to bed.”  
  
I stared at him.  
  
“Together, Magdalene.”  
  
For the first time since the evening of the day I evolved had we truly held each other in mutual comfort like we did that night.  
  
Finally, I felt fulfilled.  
  
Finally, we were one.  
  


* * *

  
Finally.  
  


* * *

  
We ate breakfast as a true couple for the first time. Food tasted better. I was happy to eat in peace and quiet, but Manny wanted to ask serious questions, like if I wanted him to try to do something about Anton. Manny seemed surprised when I said, “No,” but I couldn't imagine trying to punish him. I would be a hypocrite since all he did was make the same gamble I did. I won against the odds; he lost. He lost his home, his team, and his very best friend.  
  
After breakfast we went on a trip to Linalool and returned all the clothing he bought for me, except for one of the robes. Lilith worked hard, and deserved to be remembered in a small way. Manny didn't admit it, but the refund was a relief, as he was already committed to a number of extra shifts to help pay off that little spending spree.  
  
Those extra shifts wore him down that week, but it was okay, because eventually it was time to punch out and go home to his loving soul-mate. There was still a little resistance, though. It was the robe, my robe, my fur, still coming between us. But, only a little. Each day he got more comfortable with seeing my body do exactly the same things it had done to his countless times, but no longer disguised as Lilith wearing her robe that looked like me, smelled like me, felt like me. I could tell, and he told me outright, that he needed to take this transition slowly. I didn't mind; he never pushed me away when I expressed my feelings for him with my arms, my lips, or my tongue, and that's what I truly desired. Lilith's libido was an avatar of my desire to have him. Now that he was mine, I no longer felt that drive.  
  
Actually, I did. But it wasn't selfish like Lilith's drive was; Magdalene needed to get him over that last hurdle for his benefit. She needed to seduce him. He deserved no less than a complete, total release of everything that held him back.  
  
The calendar was marked, supposedly a day off to go to the gym and make up for lost time. I wasn't really interested in that idea. The extra inch on my waistline would have to wait, because the time had come to wear him out. I was going to get him in bed and keep him there, awake all night and asleep all the next day to recover. Oh, after seducing him first according to my original plan, of course, but Lilith wanted to enjoy my pleasure as I had enjoyed hers, and that seemed fair. Despite her human appearance, Lilith was really the animal inside me, and now the complete me wanted the best of both worlds.  
  
Maybe that's why I chose to keep one of the robes?  
  


* * *

  
Manny's shift ended late, but he napped during the day beforehand, so I knew he would still have some energy left. I re-arranged our bedroom so the foot of the bed was near the sweep of the door. When he opened it, there I was, clad in my fine—okay, faux, but very nice—silk robe, illuminated from behind by his little lamp, standing tall upon his bed, posed with authority.  
  
“Lil—iuhm, M—Maggie?”  
  
I strutted toward him halfway, running my paws across my shoulder, letting the robe slide down and away from my body. “Lilif, Maggi, now same,” I said as my belt loosened and fell away. I tossed the robe against his face. He quickly swept it away but not quickly enough to stand a chance of evading as I knelt on the foot of the bed and trapped him with a kiss. Our tongues fought for a second, mine won, and then they agreed to co-operate toward greater ends. I broke away for a moment, “Von kono a-ke, gœn, you, me… now.”  
  
My heart stopped for a second, or however long it was until he reacted. He leaned into me, pressed his face into the fur along the right side of my neck, and breathed deep a mixture of esters that came within a bottle featuring pictures of plant parts, like peaches and almonds.  
  
“Get my belt off,” he whispered as he drew himself away and took off his shirt. I wanted him to have me the way Anton did; the instant he was disrobed of all but his socks, I grabbed him and yanked him onto the bed, and as I fell back, onto myself.  
  
Manny chuckled twice. “I should've known it was you from the moment you lifted me up off of the grass.”  
  
“Lekt komp tatslo, miwagi'i inte oku nedi.” I couldn't say it for him, so I re-worded it. “Then, you blind. I help you up, help you see. See me now.” We kissed again, and let our bodies act freely of their own volition. I felt his desire brush against me as it began to rise. There was only one thing holding him back.  
  
He needed Maggie's approval before going ahead with this relationship.  
  
I pushed him off of my body a little, just enough to get his attention. I stared into him, holding him transfixed while I positioned my legs just right. I adjusted his hips and my own until they were perfectly aligned.  
  
“Von prak tœksko'o. Im-pe unil kekbouou,” with a devious smirk across my face, I gave him the most confident right-eyed wink I could and shouted, “ies!”  
  
I shouted again not a second later, and gasped, and soon panted. Something was different, it was better than the first time. Lilith's first time. This was Maggie's first time.  
  


* * *

  
Everything, and I mean everything, that happened leading up to this one perfect evening: it was all worth it.  
  


* * *

  
It was.  
  


* * *

  
I was sleeping in. Manny woke me up when he got up, but let me go back to sleep. My plan backfired, feeling about as sturdy as warm dough, I was the one who was too exhausted to get out of bed. At first. When I woke up a second time, I saw Paul standing in the doorway. Usually he was already asleep by this time, and he looked a little exhausted himself. He must have had a hard night at work.  
  
“You will rise, Magdalene, bathe quickly, and come in my auto. It is important.”  
  
Quickly was a relative concept when you have a whole body of fur to blow dry, but Paul was accommodating. I wondered where Manny went. Did he go somewhere and have an accident, and Paul's taking me to see him at the hospital? He was insistent, but not urgent. I didn't want to worry like that, so I let the sound of the dryer obliterate my thoughts.  
  
Paul put me in the rear seat, beside Manny, who must have been sitting there waiting the whole time. He wouldn't talk to me, or even look at me. Our trip would turn out to be short, and Paul explained the situation to me on the way.  
  
“I told your master this morning, but you do not know. I am officer with Carthamus Police Department. I work undercover, that's why I do night shifts and like to lay low, you see. There has been some trouble recently in Mupiro Falls involving pokemon center workers releasing pokemon to known abusers for money; I work on that case. I know what you two do are your choices, not abuse, plus what that magician dog I found you with did was abuse, but that is not your problem right now. Like Yureido and some other places, Carthamus did not ratify any personhood laws for pokemon. It is criminal here, and I must do my duty.”  
  
We pulled up to the police station and walked inside. Officer Dorin “Paul Wite” Mijloc spoke with one of his brothers in blue before leading Manny away and ordering me to follow the other. I was taken into a small room with a thick clear plastic partition that had two layers of bright, shiny silver mesh weave embedded through the center of its breadth. Tiny crystals bridged the two together along the edges of the panel. I sat on a small stool and waited as instructed. Eventually, an alakazam came inside through a different door on the other side of the partition. He sat and stared at me for a moment, withdrew his spoons from the bracers around his wrists, and rubbed them together.  
  
He was inside my head. At least he was very gentle—  
  
“Thank you. I'm sorry for the behaviors of my less-considerate comrades, I sense they have treated you coarsely sometimes,” he said in my mind as I thought that. Strangely, hearing him confirm my suspicion and apologize for the doings of others put me at ease.  
  
—as he scanned my mind. I was a little worried about what he might find. There were laws against forcing accused persons to convict themselves, but I'd just learned that in Carthamus, I didn't count as a person in any way, or that other place for that matter. I tried to focus on the good things I could remember. My ability to remember things was suddenly disabled somehow.  
  
“Relax, Magdalene. I am your council in this case, so to speak. If you interfere with me, you may become more hurt than if you don't.”  
  
He continued for a while, during which I became very exhausted for some reason. I rested my head on the narrow shelf-like bench that the partition between us divided and I lost track of time until I felt a jolt that set me upright instantly.  
  
“You will remain here for now, but not beyond this afternoon. I will state the facts of your involvement for you impartially.”  
  
He was still feeling my mind as I laid my head down again.  
  
“Magdalene,” he spoke aloud with a gravely tone, “it will be okay. Likely, not good; just okay.”  
  


* * *

  
Officer Mijloc visited a while later, escorting me to use a washroom and bringing me something to eat after returning me to the somewhat pokemon-proofed interrogation room. He told me that the justice of the peace was taking lunch himself at the moment. He already heard my representative's testimony, since the alakazam needed to return home to Rennin before school let out and discharged his ward, and Paul felt that the magistrate seemed to take the information, as that pokemon delivered it, “Favorably, relatively speaking.” I didn't know what that meant, and wished I understood more about legal proceedings than half-hour small claims game shows demonstrate. I learned that Manny would be heard in his own words in a few hours, and then, “we would go from there.”  
  
I was removed from Interrogation and allowed to sit slightly more comfortably in the offices, supervised by a female typhlosion officer. In our natural tongues, we fell into a conversation about our histories with our trainers. In fact, we got some strange looks from one of the more perceptive men in the room, as I, the detainee mostly sat and watched her while she struggled to maintain her composure. She was aware of my situation, and admitted to me that my story bore some similarities to her own, but that mine would not suffer as terrible an ending as hers did, that ending being the part where she stopped talking and started to falter. She intended to cheer me up, I suppose, since she got through it and started a new life, and one she was proud of, but despite being as far from a psychic as one can get, I could still sense that she never truly got over it. Understandable, though; she was a fire-type. Their flames can't stop burning until they are finally snuffed out forever.  
  
We got off of that topic and into some general conversation for a little bit, but soon we simply sat in silence. She had stopped carrying the conversation along with me, only replying to me like I were some sort of prompt. I felt bad for her.  
  
Another hour of watching her fill out digital paperwork passed before I was summoned again, to the magistrate's chambers. He sat in his fine vestment in a fine chair behind a fine desk. I intended to sit in a plain chair on the other side, but was warned off by the typhlosion beside me.  
  
“Pokemon Magdalene, species and form mienshao, property of Mr. Immanuel Gortzig, current Pokemon League registration I.D. № EU-08735/K. Under oath, do you swear this is your identity?”  
  
“Yes,” I spoke aloud.  
  
“The information relevant to your status is as follows: Your master, Mr. Gortzig, has admitted under oath that he has engaged in congress with you, as identified, in a manner violating the laws of this enclave. Evidence supplied through trusted testimony extracted from the minds of both you and Mr. Gortzig indicates that his behavior was, however, with clean conscious. While ignorance of the law is no excuse, I recognize that Mr. Gortzig was unable to discern the situation he was in, and once he became alert to it, he did not continue to commit abusive acts, despite opportunity, if not invitation, you, Pokemon Magdalene, provided in the days between that time and now. I have thus declared Mr. Gortzig not culpable, by reason of psychic manipulation, of willfully committing the crimes he admitted to today, and have reduced his sentence to a somewhat substantial fine, a period of community service, and registration of a Class 1 abuse on his league record.”  
  
I could hardly follow what he was saying, but I felt something was not quite right. I began to mumble to myself. I didn't know what that mumble was, but the officer took a guess, and spoke in our tongue to me.  
  
“That's a slap on the wrist; only these tight-assed towns even recognize Class 1 anymore.”  
  
The Magistrate continued. “That is true, Officer, but this case is being tried beneath the laws of a tight-assed town.”  
  
The typhlosion straightened up with surprise.  
  
“Yeah, some of us old guys still remember the bits of pokemon tongue we needed to pick up back when we were youths training our own. At least, enough to get an idea of what you think you're saying behind our backs. Now, all abuse registrations that aren't swept under the rug by sympathizers and abusers, themselves in the ranks, require that the trainer in question and all owned pokemon to be evaluated for physical and mental health, and for removal and placement of said pokemon as deemed necessary. You are the only pokemon Mr. Gortzig owns, and testimony indicates that you were never harmed or distressed by the offenses Mr. Gortzig committed against you. I would be inclined to waive the evaluation process and save everyone the time and trouble, but Mr. Gortzig has taken that step for me. At 15:39 this afternoon, Mr. Gortzig accepted his option to permanently disavow ownership of all of his pokemon in lieu of the immediate evaluation process, and will not be permitted to own or possess any other pokemon again for a period no less than twelve months, after which petition may be accepted for re-evaluation of his suitability as a trainer. I hereby enact said motion.”  
  
I jumped at the clap of his gavel. Then, I felt weak and leaned against the officer for support, which she silently gave.  
  
“This verdict carries with it the legal force of a restraining order. You, Pokemon Magdalene, will not approach, seek-out, or initiate any contact with Mr. Gortzig, nor vice-versa. Violation of these terms will result in further charges being assessed and mandatory evaluation. You are dismissed.”  
  
I turned to go but mostly I fell against the officer, feeling sick to my stomach. She helped me finish my turn and stagger away. The magistrate had one thing to add before I left.  
  
“Off the record, he wanted me to tell you something, since he does not expect to see you ever again. He said, ‘Tell Maggie I didn't lie to her,’ I hope that gives you some comfort.”  
  


* * *

  
We stopped at the lobby. The officer told me I had a few options. I could apply for placement through Carthamus Township Pokecenter; she made it sound like there was a process for finding good homes for troubled pokemon, but I remembered what Paul, Officer Mijloc, told me. Common pokemon might be treated okay, but a female exotic with a history of anthropophilic behavior and an exploitable disability too? Way to rescue me from abuse, Carthamus. Alternatively, I could be handed off to the region's rangers to be taken to any forest of my choice and be released into the wild. Central Allylidene would put me near where Caleb said he wanted to go, but would I even find him? And would he want to take care of me while I learned how to live in the wild? Other than that, she had little to offer, other than applying for the force. Ocimene's national law granted full civil rights to all members of police and domestic guard, regardless of local laws or ownership history. I declined that, knowing it wasn't a job I could handle. She returned to her work and left me to either voice my choice, or walk out through the station's front doors and wander around on my own until I found a place to go or until a flash of red laser light imprisoned me.  
  
Manny's last words to me stated that he didn't lie to me, and I believed them. I knew instinctively what he meant by it; it was when I asked him if he had lied and he said no, that he was thankful for every day he spent with me. But, with his decision to sever our ties completely, against his promise that he would not turn me away, he also showed that his love for me was so great that he knew we could not be truly together ever again, even if we emerged from those evaluations intact.  
  
It wasn't because of what he saw when my secret was revealed that he turned away from me, but because he recognized that my flame of hope would never fade. It would burn me alive, if not both of us, and its scintillating flickers had already mesmerized me to help it in doing so.  
  


* * *

  
I stepped through the front doors of the Carthamus police station. The wind blew gently, but firmly enough to make the pelt of my arms sway in the breeze. I covered my right eye with my paw and turned toward the sun. I found just the right angle, to see a faint golden glow form along the coast of an eternally dark sea. Then, it faded, even though I hadn't turned away. I guess that was all the life my left eye had left in it. I wanted to see the light, and for a moment I did, and it would have to be enough. I wanted Manny to see the light, and for a moment he did, and it would have to be enough.  
  


* * *

  
It's not like I didn't see it coming; I'm not completely blind. But, seeing it coming doesn't change the facts of the matter.  
  
I guess the worst part of being eliminated is obvious: it hurts like Hell.  
  


* * *

 


End file.
